Old age is when you reverse your car from your driveway into your neighbor’s swimming pool across the road and believe it was the car’s fault and not yours.
Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday and assume I said them. Mwah!
Celebrating your birthday is like being happy that you are closer to your grave.
Oh No..say it isn’t so! Not the BIG 5- 0 !!
Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit…but check it for wrinkles first!
Classy, Sassy, Nifty, Fifty!
The older you get the bolder you get.
65 and still alive.
Over the hill. Never, just on top enjoying the view.
Fifty is not old!!!!! For a tree!!
40 is when your body gives your brain a list of things it’s not going to do anymore.
I’m not gonna make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are. Lol.
It’s never too late to be what you want to be..unless you want to be younger, then you’re screwed.
I can’t believe you’re 50. I mean, I can’t believe you’re only 50. I thought you were way older than that.
May you live forever and the last voice you hear be mine.
Once you hit forty you start adding letters “I’m 39A this year”.
They say the older you get the more respect you get.So I just want you to know I have all the respect in the world for you!
You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, “See if you can blow this out”. – Jerry Seinfeld
Happy birthday!! May you live long enough to sh*t yourself!
“Happy Birthday” is normally what people tell you every year, but it’s more like “Congrats! You’re officially one year closer to being dead! Good for you!”
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