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Insult Quotes | Short and Sassy Insult One-Liners - Page 27

Your mama is so fat that when God said let there be light, he first has to shove her out of the way.

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Nice cologne. Must you marinate in it?

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There’s Photoshop, auto tune, & plastic surgery. Too bad there’s nothing for your ugly personality.

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Yo mama is so short you can see her feet on her driving license.

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You: You’re so dumb your first words were duh.
Me: Have you been to the doctor lately?
You: Yeah
Me: So have they found your heart or brain or spine yet. Or did you ever have one?

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You so fat god can’t even lift your spirit to heaven.
You so ugly when you look at the mirror your reflection throws up.

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You’re so dumb, you put the “Um” in the word dumb!

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I’m not saying you’re ugly, I’m just saying you’re about 8 beers away from being my type.

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A member of Parliament to Disraeli: ‘Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.’

That depends, Sir,’ said Disraeli, ‘whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.’
– Benjamin Disraeli

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I would take a picture of you, but just focusing my lens on you made my camera break.

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If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
– Kurt Vonnegut

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When I say I can’t, I clearly mean it. When I say I don’t it’s true so don’t keep repeating on your nonsense question.

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Yo momma is so thin that her wedding ring sizes two of her fingers.

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I’m not shy I just don’t like you.:)

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Dear so and so,
Remind me why we are friends again I don’t even like you.

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Girl, you’re so fake, barbie wants you for Christmas.

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Flirting isn’t cheating’s ugly cousin. You are.

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Let’s play a game of Simon Says. I’m Simon. Simon says shut up before I call the zoo keeper to take you back.

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Fat girls like hashtags(#) because they look like waffles.

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Hair is normally made up of dead skin cells. Yours are comprised entirely of dead brain cells.

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