You’re only as good as your last haircut. – Fran Lebowitz
The operation was a success, but I’m afraid the doctor is dead. – Steve Martin
Hitch your wagon to a star…but not a supernova. – M.J. McGuire
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her. – Rodney Dangerfield
In life go straight and turn right. ! ;)
Ideas stand in the corner and laugh while we fight over them. – Marty Rubin
If life gives you lemons make orange juice.
The worst part of censorship is **********
What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food? A guy with very high blood pressure.
You’re with my ex? Here, you can have the remainder of my sandwich too.
When life gives you lemons, sell them for $20 as very rare oranges.
Don’t worry there is always a dumber person than you
Come to the Darkside…, We have cookies you can chuck at people!
When life gives you lemons you throw them back at life and tell life to get a life…
We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. – Laurence J. Peter
When life gives you lemons say, “I don’t know how to make lemonade!”
If at first you don’t succeed, change the rules.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. – Sam Levenson
When I smile the world smiles with me, when I laugh everybody thinks I’m mad.
Copyright © 2006-2024 - Browse Quotes By Subject | Browse Quotes By Author | About Us | Blog | FAQ | Privacy Policy
