Welcome to Friday. In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed. On behalf of your captain, Jack Daniels and myself, welcome aboard. I expect sunshine and good attitudes today for our trip. Enjoy the ride.
If life gives you lemons make orange juice.
The worst part of censorship is **********
He was the toast to her butter. – Nicholas Sparks
Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly
15 out of 10 people exaggerate.
Curiosity killed the cat, my dog saw what happened and became smartest.
I carry death in my left pocket. Sometimes I take it out and talk to it: “Hello, baby, how you doing? When you coming for me? I’ll be ready. – Charles Bukowski
How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese? – Charles de Gaulle
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never. – Jack Benny
I’d never join a club that would have ME as a member.
If your life isn’t rich and creamy, you bought the wrong box of chocolates!!
Look, I’m no rocket surgeon.
I’ve been told I’m going straight to hell…no I’m not…I’m taking the stairs not the elevator.
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. – Woody Allen
Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbor’s noisy party than being there. – Franklin P. Jones
An optimist is a person who thinks b*s* is a fertilizer.
Let your parents choose your school…. Only if they study for you !
When life gives you lemons, demand lemonade.
It’s not that diabetes, heart disease and obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family.
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