Don’t worry there is always a dumber person than you
Come to the Darkside…, We have cookies you can chuck at people!
When life gives you lemons you throw them back at life and tell life to get a life…
We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. – Laurence J. Peter
When life gives you lemons say, “I don’t know how to make lemonade!”
If at first you don’t succeed, change the rules.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. – Sam Levenson
When I smile the world smiles with me, when I laugh everybody thinks I’m mad.
It’s not that diabetes, heart disease and obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family.
A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. – Steve Martin
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. – Rodney Dangerfield
I would like to thank God and Ice Cube for Friday!
Video games are the only realities where we are anything but absolutely ordinary.
If I melt dry ice and I swam in it, I wouldn’t get wet?
What is to be will be, BUT… What is not to be Could happen
Why do I need to learn how to find X and Y when solving maths…how many doctors, pilots, or engineers have you seen finding X or Y?
When life gives you a book…Hit life in the face and say “But I wanted lemons”.
Candy is natures way of making up for Mondays. – Rebecca Gober
He was so poor that he couldn’t afford a funeral that’s why he is still alive.
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