I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger… Then it hit me.
Stupid is when you spend 18 hours trying to drown a fish.
I’m not a complete idiot. Some pieces are missing.
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. – Steven Wright
Have you ever wondered why you can’t taste your tongue?
I never apologise. I’m sorry, that’s just the way I am.
The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems.
Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter.
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
I wonder if people wonder what I wonder, because I wonder what people wonder. Do YOU wonder what I wonder? Now THAT is what I wonder. I wonder what you’re wondering as you wonder what I wonder, if of course you’re even wondering what I’m wondering… I wonder..
I don’t follow my dreams…I ask them where they are going and find them later!
You know you’re stupid when you wake someone up by asking if they’re asleep.
Boys are like lava lamps…fun to look at but not very bright.
You laugh because imm different,i laugh because I just farted..
Go for the happy endings, because life doesn’t have any sequels. If you keep chasing yesterday, you’re going to miss tomorrow.
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. – Steven Wright
The degree of your stupidity is enough to boil water.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
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