Stupid Quotes & Sayings

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger… Then it hit me.

A very wise man once said, “it is better to let people think you are stupid than to open your mouth and prove you are stupid”

Stupid is when you spend 18 hours trying to drown a fish.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
– Steven Wright

You can have as many friends that money can buy, but I’ll still hate you for free.

I’m not a complete idiot. Some pieces are missing.

Have you ever wondered why you can’t taste your tongue?

If a blonde throws you a grenade…you pull the pin and throw it back! :P

I never apologise. I’m sorry, that’s just the way I am.

My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems.

The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.

Its only funny until someone gets hurt.
… Then its FREAKIN HILARIOUS!

Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

I don’t follow my dreams…I ask them where they are going and find them later!

I wonder if people wonder what I wonder, because I wonder what people wonder. Do YOU wonder what I wonder? Now THAT is what I wonder. I wonder what you’re wondering as you wonder what I wonder, if of course you’re even wondering what I’m wondering…
I wonder..

Boys are like lava lamps…fun to look at but not very bright.

You laugh because imm different,i laugh because I just farted..

You know you’re stupid when you wake someone up by asking if they’re asleep.

Go for the happy endings,
because life doesn’t have any sequels.
If you keep chasing yesterday,
you’re going to miss tomorrow.

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
– Steven Wright

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
– George Carlin

The person who laughs last at a joke..didn’t get it

Crazy? I was crazy once, I had my own padded room.
Then the worms came…Worms? I hate worms, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once…

If you ever decide to leave me, I’m going with you.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Second is the first loser.

If you don’t know what you are talking about, at least act like you do.

Everybody has a photographic memory. Some people just don’t have film.