Alcohol Quotes and Sayings

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.

Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.

Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.

I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend !!!!

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me.

The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.

I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

There is a devil in every berry of the grape.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I drink to forget I drink.

I would take a bomb, but I can’t stand the noise.

Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.

Prohibition may be a disputed theory, but none can say that it doesn’t hold water.

The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

The whole world is about three drinks behind.

I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

257 Comments to “Alcohol Quotes and Sayings”

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 … 13 Next »

  • 1. callie wrote on 8 July, 2007, 18:59
     Vote: Add rating 303  Subtract rating 33  

    A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

  • 2. Bob wrote on 22 July, 2007, 15:56
     Vote: Add rating 171  Subtract rating 65  

    I heard this one the other day…

    When life gives you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who’s life gave them vodka,mix them together and have a party!!

  • 3. Fishfood wrote on 25 July, 2007, 12:51
     Vote: Add rating 168  Subtract rating 43  

    Everybody has to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.

  • 4. Sarah wrote on 26 July, 2007, 20:16
     Vote: Add rating 223  Subtract rating 58  

    Whiskey is risky but it makes the girls frisky.

    Don’t be dumb and mix wine and rum.

    Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.

    A good friend takes your drink away and says, “You’ve had enough.” But a TRUE friend gives you another drink and yells, “YOU BETTER CHUGG THIS CUZ WE AIN’T TRASHED YET!!”

  • 5. rahul sharma wrote on 10 August, 2007, 4:18
     Vote: Add rating 64  Subtract rating 86  

    Drink and think but dont think and drink

  • 6. mikey wrote on 11 August, 2007, 9:57
     Vote: Add rating 139  Subtract rating 65  

    I swear to drunk I’m not god.

  • 7. tipicaly unconcerned wrote on 1 September, 2007, 15:12
     Vote: Add rating 182  Subtract rating 40  

    one tequila
    two tequila
    three takillya
    floor

  • 8. Courtney wrote on 3 September, 2007, 4:49
     Vote: Add rating 119  Subtract rating 32  

    Nothing lasts forever so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off.

  • 9. ?kate wrote on 11 September, 2007, 5:43
     Vote: Add rating 65  Subtract rating 57  

    When life hands u lemons grab the tequila and salt and call me over!

  • 10. Teri-lynn.M wrote on 19 September, 2007, 9:20
     Vote: Add rating 44  Subtract rating 65  

    I have all day sober to Sunday up!

  • 11. Johnny wrote on 23 September, 2007, 12:36
     Vote: Add rating 125  Subtract rating 42  

    Never drink on an empty head

  • 12. Jesse wrote on 1 October, 2007, 16:35
     Vote: Add rating 57  Subtract rating 72  

    If your beer hits the floor
    send your girl out the door.

  • 13. aaron wrote on 3 October, 2007, 0:43
     Vote: Add rating 48  Subtract rating 54  

    Beer: it’s not just for breakfast anymore.

  • 14. kelz wrote on 5 October, 2007, 5:18
     Vote: Add rating 76  Subtract rating 35  

    Reality: an illusion due to lack of alcohol

  • 15. T-Man wrote on 5 October, 2007, 10:55
     Vote: Add rating 40  Subtract rating 48  

    I am being sober in moderation…

  • 16. jordan wrote on 11 October, 2007, 23:29
     Vote: Add rating 59  Subtract rating 54  

    Im not as think as u drunk i am

  • 17. sandra wrote on 13 October, 2007, 18:11
     Vote: Add rating 123  Subtract rating 24  

    I like to have a martini,
    two at the very most,
    after three I’m under the table,
    after four I’m under my host.

    Dorothy Parker (lives on)

  • 18. Jani wrote on 24 October, 2007, 11:43
     Vote: Add rating 48  Subtract rating 58  

    When life gives you lemons, break out the tequila and salt!

  • 19. glenny wrote on 4 November, 2007, 14:14
     Vote: Add rating 218  Subtract rating 20  

    My boss didn’t know i drank, till one day i came to work sober.

  • 20. *Kelsey-- wrote on 5 November, 2007, 0:27
     Vote: Add rating 133  Subtract rating 25  

    I only drink on 2 occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not

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