Quotes by Dave Barry

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
– Dave Barry

Quote: Never under any circumstances take a sleeping...

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Hard Drive: The part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.
– Dave Barry

Quote: Hard Drive: The part of the computer...

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It is inhumane in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.
– Dave Barry

Quote: It is inhumane in my opinion, to...

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You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
– Dave Barry

Quote: You can only be young once. But...

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For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
– Dave Barry

Quote: For me, the worst part of playing...

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Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
– Dave Barry

Quote: Electricity is actually made up of extremely...

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The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.
– Dave Barry

Quote: The one thing that unites all human...

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User: The word computer professionals use when they mean “idiot.”
– Dave Barry

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Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.
– Dave Barry

Quote: Hobbies of any kind are boring except...

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A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
– Dave Barry

Quote: A person who is nice to you,...

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