Funny Women Quotes and Sayings
A woman has only 2 problems. 1. Nothing to wear. 2. No room for all the clothes.
Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!
When a women says “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..
A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. :)
Why are girls?
Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
There is no doubt that all women are crazy. It’s just a matter of degree.
Only two things can change a woman’s mind:
1. I love you.
2. 50 percent discount.
A man is always ready to go, it’s a women that says whether yes or no!
Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.
Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.
Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
- Suze Orman
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
- Robin Williams
Women are suitable to be journalists, they never spend a minute quiet.
Halloween is for dressing as something you’re not. That’s why most girls go as sexy.
When a woman has nothing left to argue, she will either ignore you, cry or remember that thing until she takes revenge on that.
If for some reason I doubt that I’m wrong, all I need to do is ask a woman for verification.
I’m a woman.. I’m smart. I never loose an argument. I can cook. I like to read fashion magazines. I love to be right. Men don’t understand us. We must have secret powers, because I don’t understand us, either.
Men are nasty to each other and don’t mean it,
Women are nice to each other and don’t mean it!
A wise man once said “I don’t know, ask a girl.”
The male body has seven trillion nerves and only a woman knows “How to get on every single one of them?”
“Women” – they have a way of complicating things.
What do women and tornadoes have in common? They both moan when they come and they take the house when they leave.
Women speak two languages. One of which is verbal.
I don’t condone wife beating, but I understand it!
I don’t need an encyclopedia, my wife knows everything.
99% of all women are beautiful. The remaining 1% is in my office.
Q: How to turn a fox into and elephant?
A: Marry her.
Q: What’s the difference between the abominable snowman & an intelligent woman?
A: There have been a few reported sightings of the snowman.
Why do only 60% of women go to heaven…because if they all went it would be hell.
Men socialize by insulting one another, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting one another… But they don’t really mean it, either.
Women are cute…until you marry them!!
Girls are like smart phones when we finally figure them out they upgrade to a smarter version.