Short Funny Quotes | Funny Life Quotes | Cool Funny Quotes

Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

0

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

2

Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?

2

Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.

1

Some people are like Slinky’s. Pretty much useless but make you smile when you push them down the stairs. :)

0

You cry, I cry, …you laugh, I laugh…you jump off a cliff I laugh even harder!!

6

Never steal. The government hates competition.
– Ron Paul

3

Don’t knock on death’s door. Hit the doorbell and run. He hates that.

0

If you can’t get someone out of your head,
.. Then maybe they are supposed to be there.

0

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.

1

When I die, I wanna go like my grandpa…peacefully…sleeping…not screaming, like the passengers in his car…

0

Save paper, don’t do home work.

0

Do not drink and drive
or you might spill the drink.

0

I dream of a better tomorrow…
where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, “You’re next.”
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

1

All guys hate the words DON’T and STOP unless they’re put together.

0

Boys fall for me-
Because I trip them.

0

I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

5

Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

2

Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.

0

Life is Short – Talk Fast!

2

Copyright © 2006-2024 - Browse Quotes By Subject | Browse Quotes By Author | About Us | Blog | FAQ | Privacy Policy