Short Funny Quotes

You cry, I cry, …you laugh, I laugh…you jump off a cliff I laugh even harder!!

Funny Quote: You cry, I cry, …you laugh, I...

Submitted by: 'Becca
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Never steal. The government hates competition.

Funny Quote: Never steal. The government hates competition.

Submitted by: ashley
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This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.

Funny Quote: This dog, is dog, a dog, good...

Submitted by: amal
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Some people are like Slinky’s. Pretty much useless but make you smile when you push them down the stairs. :)

Funny Quote: Some people are like Slinky’s. Pretty much...

Submitted by: Scholtzy
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
Steven Wright

Funny Quote: Light travels faster than sound. This is...

Submitted by: Jinny
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Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

Funny Quote: Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected...

Submitted by: Dylan
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Never argue with an idiot they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you through experience

Funny Quote: Never argue with an idiot they’ll drag...

Submitted by: katrina
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Smile…It confuses people..!!

Funny Quote: Smile…It confuses people..!!

Submitted by: Pankil
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Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?

Funny Quote: Practice makes perfect but then nobody is...

Submitted by: devon
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Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.

Funny Quote: Everybody wishes they could go to heaven...

Submitted by: Wise man
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Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

Funny Quote: Life is like a hot bath. It...

Submitted by: Freak.
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DON’T HIT KIDS!!!
No, seriously, they have guns now.

Funny Quote: DON’T HIT KIDS!!! No, seriously, they have...

Submitted by: I
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Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?

Funny Quote: Why are they called apartments if they...

Submitted by: tara:littlestar
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Don’t knock on death’s door. Hit the doorbell and run. He hates that.

Funny Quote: Don’t knock on death’s door. Hit the...

Submitted by: I
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An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.

Funny Quote: An apple a day keeps the doctor...

Submitted by: sammie
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