Short Funny Quotes - Page 6
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
- Steven Wright
Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.
Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.
I’m fat. But you’re ugly. At least I can diet.
When you are always ahead of others, you are always walking alone.
Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.
Always follow the light out of the tunnel. Just make sure that its not a train.
Save paper, don’t do home work.
People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!
I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.
When I have children I am going to make them watch the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that like a Boss!
People don’t grow up. They just learn how to act in public.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so I go back to being me.:p
If the world really ends in 2012, I wasted my whole life in school.
When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.
Your intelligence is my common sense.
Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God.
Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
- Bob Hope
If you fail to prepare,
then prepare to fail
Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.
Have you ever noticed that studying is a combination of student and dying.
Who invented Mondays, I’d like to have a word with him.
I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!
I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.