Short Funny Quotes - Page 6

108

I’m fat. But you’re ugly. At least I can diet.

Submitted by: Mich
60

Always follow the light out of the tunnel. Just make sure that its not a train.

Submitted by: Enos
14

Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so I go back to being me.:p

Submitted by: heaven
57

I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.

Submitted by: Jess
2

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of potato chips!

Submitted by: Jamie
72

People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!

Submitted by: Carla
383

Save paper, don’t do home work.

Submitted by: Allyson
57

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Submitted by: Bravo1560
37

Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God.
Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.

Submitted by: Jenny
4

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Submitted by: mickey
64

That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
George Carlin

Funny Quote: That’s why they call it the American...

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2

Be the kind of woman that when your feet touch the ground in the morning, the devils says “Oh no she’s up.”

Submitted by: Nathan
0

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
– Phyllis Diller

0

Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
Robert Orben

102

When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.

Submitted by: klemen33
7

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.

24

Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.

Submitted by: AJ 619 LEGENDKILLER
33

Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.

Submitted by: Kassie
48

Your intelligence is my common sense.

Submitted by: Swapnil
0

If there was an award for laziness I’d probably send somebody else to pick it up for me.

250

If you fail to prepare,
then prepare to fail

Submitted by: bobby
5

If the world really ends in 2012, I wasted my whole life in school.

Submitted by: Candygirl
4

Even Barbie is not perfect.. I snapped off her leg.

Submitted by: smel(:
0

Housework won’t kill you, but then again, why take the chance?
– Phyllis Diller

0

I’m single because I was born that way.
Mae West


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