Short Funny Quotes - Page 6
I’m fat. But you’re ugly. At least I can diet.
Always follow the light out of the tunnel. Just make sure that its not a train.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so I go back to being me.:p
I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of potato chips!
People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!
Save paper, don’t do home work.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God.
Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
– George Carlin
Be the kind of woman that when your feet touch the ground in the morning, the devils says “Oh no she’s up.”
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
– Phyllis Diller
Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
– Robert Orben
When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.
Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.
Your intelligence is my common sense.
If there was an award for laziness I’d probably send somebody else to pick it up for me.
If you fail to prepare,
then prepare to fail
If the world really ends in 2012, I wasted my whole life in school.
Even Barbie is not perfect.. I snapped off her leg.
Housework won’t kill you, but then again, why take the chance?
– Phyllis Diller
I’m single because I was born that way.
– Mae West