Short Funny Quotes - Page 6
Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.
Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.
If you weren’t who you are … I’d like you!
Always follow the light out of the tunnel. Just make sure that its not a train.
Save paper, don’t do home work.
Be the kind of woman that when your feet touch the ground in the morning, the devils says “Oh no she’s up.”
One of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.
- George W. Bush
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
I’m fat. But you’re ugly. At least I can diet.
People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!
I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.
Do it today, it might be illegal tomorrow.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
People don’t grow up. They just learn how to act in public.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so I go back to being me.:p
Your intelligence is my common sense.
When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
- Steven Wright
Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God.
Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.
If the world really ends in 2012, I wasted my whole life in school.
If you fail to prepare,
then prepare to fail
We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
Have you ever noticed that studying is a combination of student and dying.
Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely, the opportunist.
Who invented Mondays, I’d like to have a word with him.
I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.