Short Funny Quotes - Page 6

11

Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

Sincerely, the opportunist.

Submitted by: Mark Cromo
60

Always follow the light out of the tunnel. Just make sure that its not a train.

Submitted by: Enos
382

Save paper, don’t do home work.

Submitted by: Allyson
57

I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.

Submitted by: Jess
72

People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!

Submitted by: Carla
7

How can the world end in 2012l when we have yogurt that expires in 2013?

Submitted by: Sydnee
14

Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so I go back to being me.:p

Submitted by: heaven
23

Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.

Submitted by: AJ 619 LEGENDKILLER
57

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Submitted by: Bravo1560
0

Let husband and wife never speak to one another in loud tones,unless the house is on fire.
- David O. McKay
Funny Quote: Let husband and wife never speak to...

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0

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
- Bob Hope

1

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of potato chips!

Submitted by: Jamie
102

When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.

Submitted by: klemen33
37

Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God.
Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.

Submitted by: Jenny
48

Your intelligence is my common sense.

Submitted by: Swapnil
33

Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.

Submitted by: Kassie
250

If you fail to prepare,
then prepare to fail

Submitted by: bobby
6

Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.

Submitted by: MrCoolGuy
0

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
- Phyllis Diller

4

Even Barbie is not perfect.. I snapped off her leg.

Submitted by: smel(:
46

I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!

Submitted by: shiarna
202

Why do they put pizza in a square box?

Submitted by: win_ringette
126

There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can’t.

Submitted by: Mr. Lova Lova
0

If there was an award for laziness I’d probably send somebody else to pick it up for me.

0

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
- Steven Wright


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