Short Funny Quotes - Page 6
Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely, the opportunist.
Always follow the light out of the tunnel. Just make sure that its not a train.
Save paper, don’t do home work.
I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.
People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!
How can the world end in 2012l when we have yogurt that expires in 2013?
Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so I go back to being me.:p
Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Let husband and wife never speak to one another in loud tones,unless the house is on fire.
- David O. McKay
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
- Bob Hope
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of potato chips!
When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.
Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God.
Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.
Your intelligence is my common sense.
Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.
If you fail to prepare,
then prepare to fail
Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
- Phyllis Diller
Even Barbie is not perfect.. I snapped off her leg.
I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!
Why do they put pizza in a square box?
There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can’t.
If there was an award for laziness I’d probably send somebody else to pick it up for me.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
- Steven Wright