Short Funny Quotes - Page 6


Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.

Submitted by: jaza

I’m fat. But you’re ugly. At least I can diet.

Submitted by: Mich

Sipho : Dr I have a problem of forgetting.
Dr : When did the problem start?
Sipho : Which problem?

Submitted by: Victor

Always follow the light out of the tunnel. Just make sure that its not a train.

Submitted by: Enos

Save paper, don’t do home work.

Submitted by: Allyson

I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.

Submitted by: Jess

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright


People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!

Submitted by: Carla

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Submitted by: Bravo1560

Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so I go back to being me.:p

Submitted by: heaven

Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God.
Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.

Submitted by: Jenny

Let husband and wife never speak to one another in loud tones,unless the house is on fire.
– David O. McKay
Funny Quote: Let husband and wife never speak to...

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I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
– Phyllis Diller


When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.

Submitted by: klemen33

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Submitted by: mickey

Your intelligence is my common sense.

Submitted by: Swapnil

Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.

Submitted by: Kassie

Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.

Submitted by: AJ 619 LEGENDKILLER

If you fail to prepare,
then prepare to fail

Submitted by: bobby

Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.


Even Barbie is not perfect.. I snapped off her leg.

Submitted by: smel(:

If there was an award for laziness I’d probably send somebody else to pick it up for me.


Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
Robert Orben


A waffle is like a pancake, with a syrup trap.
– Mitch Hedberg

Submitted by: Laughable Dancer Girl

I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!

Submitted by: shiarna

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