Short Funny Quotes - Page 6
Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.
I’m fat. But you’re ugly. At least I can diet.
Sipho : Dr I have a problem of forgetting.
Dr : When did the problem start?
Sipho : Which problem?
Always follow the light out of the tunnel. Just make sure that its not a train.
Save paper, don’t do home work.
I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
– Steven Wright
People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so I go back to being me.:p
Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God.
Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.
Let husband and wife never speak to one another in loud tones,unless the house is on fire.
– David O. McKay
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
– Phyllis Diller
When life gives you lemons then go to this site because there are a lot of ideas what to do with lemons.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Your intelligence is my common sense.
Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.
Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.
If you fail to prepare,
then prepare to fail
Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.
Even Barbie is not perfect.. I snapped off her leg.
If there was an award for laziness I’d probably send somebody else to pick it up for me.
Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
– Robert Orben
A waffle is like a pancake, with a syrup trap.
– Mitch Hedberg
I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!