Funny Marriage Quotes & Sayings | Married Life Comedy - Page 2

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

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A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.

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Behind every successful wife, stands a surprised mother in law.

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Marriage is a workshop…where husband works & wife shops.

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Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!

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Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

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Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.

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Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
– Albert Einstein

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Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
– Clint Eastwood

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Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.

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I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
– Rita Rudner

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Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.

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The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.

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Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?
– Barbra Streisand

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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner

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My husband wears the pants in my house… The ones I pick.

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My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

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It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.

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Son: Dad, is it true that marriage costs a lot?
Father: I don’t know son, still paying…

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Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
– François de La Rochefoucauld

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