Two men were talking and one said for their 10th anniversary he took his wife to Hawaii. Said for their 20th he might go back and get her.
My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. – Evelyn Hendrickson
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.
My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. – E. Joseph Cossman
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. – François de La Rochefoucauld
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. – Joey Adams
I thought I was stupid until I got married, my stupidity was confirmed.
I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. – Groucho Marx
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. – Rodney Dangerfield
Before marriage, each looks at the other through rose- colored glasses. After marriage, they see each other with magnifying glasses!
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. – Rodney Dangerfield
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time. – Chris Rock
Man: I wear the pants in the relationship. Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!
Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake. – Elbert Hubbard
I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.
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