Once I Realized That You Can Buy Trophies, I Became Good At Everything. (;
I saw a bug then I thought of you so I stepped on it.
Don’t trouble the trouble unless the trouble troubles you…if you trouble the trouble ..the trouble will double trouble you.
Insult: If you’re dating an idiot, you have found your perfect match.
POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN…Police have nothing to go on
Get Well Soon! Why Get Well Soon? Why Not Get Well Now? I Know Because You Want Me To Suffer!!!
“The pen is mightier than the sword.” Really? Can I stab you with a sword, you stab me with a pen and we’ll see who survives?
She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon. – Groucho Marx
I’m an outstanding student, teacher often asks me to stand out of the class. Without ME its just Aweso
Installing love. ……44%. Installation failed. Error 404: install money first.
No matter how old or how bad a** you think you are, when a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!!
A wise man once told me to always listen carefully because…um…I forgot.
I’m not dumb, I just think less to avoid all the headaches.
Why would life give you lemon…life is not a lemon tree!
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then againm neither does milk.
Hardest job ever: Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self control needed.
How can the world end in 2012l when we have yogurt that expires in 2013?
The quickest way to a man’s heart is through is chest…
Waiting for the perfect girl? Idiot, even if you find her she’ll be waiting for the perfect man.
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. – Frank Sinatra
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