Short Funny Quotes

I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.

I’m still waiting for that day…

I talk to myself because I only talk to people of a higher class.

Submitted by: I on May 31, 2008

Steal money from pessimists. They’ll never expect it back!

Submitted by: Sweet22 on July 6, 2009

Relatives are like fires, the sooner they’re out, the better.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Submitted by: the person whom you know not of... on February 1, 2011

Why don’t you ever see Cupid with a girlfriend?

Submitted by: Toffayok on February 10, 2010

I hate People who are taking drugs,
Especially Police and Customs Officers

Submitted by: Pete on May 19, 2009

There’s no half- singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.

Submitted by: - Kaila on August 13, 2009

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.
Ashleigh Brilliant

It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

Be nice to nerds, because you may end up working for one!

Submitted by: beto on March 29, 2010

This is my life and I don’t let others ruin it !!… I wanna do it myself :D

Submitted by: saba haghiri on June 22, 2010

If others can do it…
..let them do it…

Submitted by: g0f0 on October 2, 2009

Who says common sense is common … Watching people push the door when it clearly says pull.

Submitted by: ME!!! on February 5, 2010

If my room is clean, it means that my internet is not working.

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