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Witty Quotes | Witty Phrases | Sayings with Verbal Humor - Page 9

I’m going to sell my vacuum cleaner. It’s just sitting around collecting dust.

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There is no such thing as lousy weather. Just lousy clothing.

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Save the world. Destroy humans.’

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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, that throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons, until they give you the oranges you originally asked for.
– Cassandra Claire.

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If you pull enough strings, you’ll end up pulling ropes.

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It is so easy I can sleep with my eyes closed.

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They say you should never look back, so I focused on what was in front of me. Little did I know… A car was coming…

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East or West, Home is best
…”I see you’ve not been to North”

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He was a modest man, with much to be modest about.

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Did you just call me pedantic?
(Please say there are people who get this one =P!!)

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Water and oil creates a heterogeneous mixture, oil always rises to the top. An argument with me is equivalent to this phenomenon.

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To the guy who texted me the last day
“I love you. So what do you think?”

A reply to him.
“Yes. Of course even I love myself”.

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Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.
– Queen Elizabeth II

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Department of redundancy department.

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A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is better!

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Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.

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If you can keep your head while all around you lose theirs. Then you really don’t appreciate the seriousness of the problem.

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Let’s agree that some days we are the pain and some days the a**!

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It’s an easy thing to commit a sin, I wonder how God expects people to fail doing an easy task.

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Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
– Sam Levenson

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