Clever Quotes and Sayings

5

Once a king ordered in his audience to keep their hand on any thing it will be rewarded to him. All from audience kept their hands on gold and valuable costly items. One person came and kept hand on the king.

Submitted by: liaqath
35

Notice: Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

Submitted by: DUANE. G. FINCH. SR.
14

Good girls are found on every corner of the earth but unfortunately the earth is round.

Submitted by: kiara
20

If your heart was really broken you would be dead so shut up.

Submitted by: kiara
29

If I’m driving you crazy just remember to put on your seat belt.

Submitted by: Thomas
16

The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.

Submitted by: Lexy
10

If you want breakfast in bed. Sleep in the kitchen.

Submitted by: lexy
11

Money does not buy happiness but, it sure pays off stress.

Submitted by: Jamie S Bryan
8

You do not become smarter by blowing your own horn. You become smarter by being humble.
Dr T.P.Chia

Submitted by: Dr T.P.Chia
31

I haven’t failed at anything, I’ve just found all the wrong ways of doing it!!

Clever Quote: I haven’t failed at anything, I’ve just...

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Submitted by: Kassi
19

Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian)
11

If you can’t impress anyone with your intelligence confuse them with your bulls***!!!

Submitted by: Buju Aka Israr
15

My parents told me “You watch too much TV and should try reading more!” So I turned on the subtitles.

10

All things being equal, if you give too little you receive too little and if you give too much you receive too much. You could say giving nothing is as selfish as giving everything.

Submitted by: Dan
8

You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question.
Albert Camus

14

Did you sleep well?
No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Steven Wright

8

My favorite text message “I will be there in 5 minutes, if not read again”.

Submitted by: Loshani Sigwadi
65

Push will get a person almost anywhere- except through a door marked “pull.”

Clever Quote: Push will get a person almost anywhere-...

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Submitted by: Rikku
10

When push comes to shove, I hope you’re standing next to a cliff.

Submitted by: stubsandstubby
38

If life gives you lemons. Eat carrots.

Submitted by: Naila Boo
7

The grass is always greener on the other side when you’re not the one mowing it.

Submitted by: some guy
7

How can you tell me to never say never when you just said never?

Submitted by: Lovers
12

The grass is greener on the other side, because that’s where the dogs have been pooping.

Submitted by: cattDaDDy
13

It’s not necessary to be educated, to be intelligent.

Submitted by: saloni
4

I have 6 locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking locks, they are always locking 3.
– Elayne Boosler.

Submitted by: Athena
3

Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence.
– Max Amsterdam

Clever Quote: Business is the art of extracting money...

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3

If you want people to remember you. Borrow money from them.

Submitted by: Oly Pop
3

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Submitted by: some1
11

I am not always right but I am never wrong.

Submitted by: Abolmore
13

Never value first impressions cos along with it comes deception.

Submitted by: nov-thirteen

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