Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

11

I’m a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time?
– Will Smith

3

Men are like Bluetooth connection, when you are beside them, they stay connected but when you are away, they search for new devices.

4

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract!

5

I like my men like I like my coffee. Tied up in a burlap bag and dragged through mountains.

15

You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
Bill Maher

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16

The man is not a dog – he will not run after bones.

Submitted by: mareniek
15

Things you’ll never hear a man say…

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6

Husbands are like fine wine. They take time to mature.
– Letters to Juliet, the movie.

Submitted by: brooklynne
19

A women needs a man like fish need a bicycle.

Submitted by: Sonia
32

A man is always ready to go, it’s a women that says whether yes or no!

Submitted by: Peter
17

While creating men, God promised women that a good and ideal man would be found in all corners of the world, then He made the earth round.

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Submitted by: Jessica!
9

Men…. I don’t get them, they spend 9 months of their life waiting to come out and the rest of their life trying to get in.

Submitted by: Lynn
10

Men are like trees, they take forever to grow up.

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Submitted by: Madisoneats pickles
6

We can train a monkey to fly a jet but we can’t train a man to be humble.

Submitted by: C Ray
96

Men are like parking spaces; The good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

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Submitted by: admin
15

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman

17

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.

Submitted by: Doug Dunn
3

He suffers from delusions of grandeur; nevertheless he is truly grand!

Submitted by: Boghos L. Artinian
36

Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.

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Submitted by: Tandy
8

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Rita Rudner

5

A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner

12

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx

7

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho Marx

15

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
George Carlin

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16

Men are like toilets; deep, dark and full of sh**!

Submitted by: Amy

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