Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

17

I’m a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time?
– Will Smith

10

Men are like Bluetooth connection, when you are beside them, they stay connected but when you are away, they search for new devices.

11

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract!

8

I like my men like I like my coffee. Tied up in a burlap bag and dragged through mountains.

22

You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
Bill Maher

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19

The man is not a dog – he will not run after bones.

Submitted by: mareniek
15

Things you’ll never hear a man say…

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8

Husbands are like fine wine. They take time to mature.
– Letters to Juliet, the movie.

Submitted by: brooklynne
20

A women needs a man like fish need a bicycle.

Submitted by: Sonia
32

A man is always ready to go, it’s a women that says whether yes or no!

Submitted by: Peter
19

While creating men, God promised women that a good and ideal man would be found in all corners of the world, then He made the earth round.

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Submitted by: Jessica!
10

Men…. I don’t get them, they spend 9 months of their life waiting to come out and the rest of their life trying to get in.

Submitted by: Lynn
10

Men are like trees, they take forever to grow up.

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Submitted by: Madisoneats pickles
6

We can train a monkey to fly a jet but we can’t train a man to be humble.

Submitted by: C Ray
96

Men are like parking spaces; The good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

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Submitted by: admin
15

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman

18

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.

Submitted by: Doug Dunn
3

He suffers from delusions of grandeur; nevertheless he is truly grand!

Submitted by: Boghos L. Artinian
36

Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.

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Submitted by: Tandy
9

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Rita Rudner

5

A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner

13

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx

9

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho Marx

17

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
George Carlin

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18

Men are like toilets; deep, dark and full of sh**!

Submitted by: Amy

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