Funny Men Quotes and Sayings
The man is not a dog – he will not run after bones.
Things you’ll never hear a man say…
Husbands are like fine wine. They take time to mature.
- Letters to Juliet, the movie.
A women needs a man like fish need a bicycle.
A man is always ready to go, it’s a women that says whether yes or no!
Men…. I don’t get them, they spend 9 months of their life waiting to come out and the rest of their life trying to get in.
We can train a monkey to fly a jet but we can’t train a man to be humble.
Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
- Suze Orman
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.
He suffers from delusions of grandeur; nevertheless he is truly grand!
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
- Rita Rudner
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
- Rita Rudner
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
- Groucho Marx
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
- Groucho Marx
Men are like toilets; deep, dark and full of sh**!
All men are dogs, the difference is the barking rate!
Men don’t take direction very well. But eventually when they realize the direction was correct they take all the credit.
Dogs should not be compared to men, they are much better.
If human beings originated from monkeys, why do men act like dogs???
Men are like purses. Cute, full of sh*t and replaceable.:)
Men are stupid, if you forget this just give it a min, they’ll remind you again.
Q: Why is it so hard to find a man that’s caring, considerate, and nice?
A: Because he already has a boyfriend.
All men are dogs. It’s just that some make better pets!
Behind every successful man there’s a woman, behind every unsuccessful man there are several women.
Men are like blenders. You know you need one, but you’re not sure why.
Boys are like dogs they run away then come back to you the very next day.
If women belong in the kitchen, shouldn’t men belong in the garage with all the other tools?! (- :
Don’t expect a woman that has no money to think negative And never expect a man loaded with cash to think positive.
They all say they’re different but really they’re all just the same – boys.
When a woman wants a man’s opinion…She gives it to him.
A husband is someone who after taking the trash out gives the impression he’s cleaned the whole house!
A man can never be careful until he buys a new car and a white shirt.
When SHE cancels a date, it is because..
“She has to.”
When HE cancels a date, it is because..
“He has two.”
If at first you don’t succeed then you are probably a man.
Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like buses… if you miss one another one will be coming in 5 minutes.
What do men and clouds have in common???….. When both are not around it’s a nice day!
Men would rather buy you a drink than give you the hard cash to go help yourself.
One day a man asked a genie to make him smarter than any other man on earth. The genie turned him into a woman.
Men are like bank accounts, without money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
A man – if he has all the good qualities of a MAN can be considered as one of THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD…
While creating men, God promised women that a good and ideal man would be found in all corners of the world, then He made the earth round.
Menopause, menstrual cramps, mental illness, mental breakdowns…ever notice that all of your problems begin with men?