Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 3
Someone said that you didn’t have half a brain, but I defended you, I insisted that you did!
As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me!
Abusive Mom: Do you hate me?
Girl: No, I just wish you would get your next period in a shark tank
Abusive Dad: Do you hate me?
Girl: No, it’s just that if you were on fire I’d roast marshmallows.
Mom: *knocks on my door*
Mom: Are you in there?
Me: No, I went to Narnia.
*Me washing my car*
Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car?
Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.
Judge: How do you plead?
Me: Not guilty your honer!
Judge: What have you got to say for yourself?
Me: Isn’t being ugly against the law?
Some one comes to your house.
Them: Do you have a bathroom?
You: No, we just go in the back yard!
One thing I know is sarcasm is painful euphemism.
Try not to be sarcastic when you are not, it’s just as difficult as walking with your nose.
Sarcasm is a skill meant for a chosen few.
My dad: “Is the only thing you can do is be an a$$?”
My reply: “No, I come with sarcasm 3. 0.”
Person 1: Is that you?!
Person 2: Nah, I’m an alien from the planet obvious.
If you had to choose a name for my dog! It would for sure be yours! For loyalty purposes.:)
The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out 10 doctors would prescribe.
You – “Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!”
Me – “I’m sorry there’s a correct side to be waking up on?”
It takes patience to listen, however it takes absolute skill to pretend you’re listening.
Excuse me love, would you like a skirt to go with that belt?!
Person 1 : Was my speech good?
Person 2 : Yup but I couldn’t understand a word you were saying.
My Brother: Since when is silence smart?
Me: Since you started talking…
9 more hours and I can start behaving normally again.
Life’s good, you should get one.
I find it funny…
But I have forgotten how to laugh..
Person 1: “Does this look like a face of concern?”
Person 2: “It will if I smashed it in.”
You- “oh find it funny do you?!”
Me- “hence the laughter”