Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 3
Person 1: What do you think we should make for dinner?
Person 2: Food.
Person 1: Did you fall?
Person 2: No, a bunch a kids wanted to play ping pong with my a**.
Sorry, my fist meant to caress your face.
You: Go to hell.
Me: I go on vacations there.
I became so religious so that I could pray for you to burn in hell.
My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
How very observant of you there captain obvious.
I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
A guy asks “Do you think I’m straight?”
My response: You’re as straight as a circle.
3 A. M. Phone call
– Hey are you asleep?
– No, I was in coma thank you for rescuing me!