Short Funny Quotes
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If “poli” means many, and “tics” mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does “politics” mean?
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
– Leo J. Burke
Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.
An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!”
My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.
Omg I’ve just been drinking wet cement
and now I’m completely stoned
I am in shape…Round is a shape.
Nine out of ten people like chocolate,
the tenth person always lies hehehe
People always tell you to never say never so just say I cant.