Short Funny Quotes - Page 20
When life gives you lemons demand for lemonade.
When life gives you lemons, make orange juice then laugh at those who are confused.
Communism is like prohibition, it’s a good idea but it won’t work.
How do you eat a computer? One Byte at a time.
Just because you’re not paranoid does not mean the have stopped fallowing you.
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
I asked God for a bike but I know He doesn’t work that way… So I stole a bike then asked for forgiveness.
Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.
Why is it called a walkie- talkie if a vacuum cleaner isn’t called a pushy- sucky?
Cowboys ride horses.
Shouldn’t they be called horseboys???
Once I Realized That You Can Buy Trophies, I Became Good At Everything. (;
Pulling a door that clearly said “Push”.
Me?? Stalk?? Nah.. I just observe.. At night… Behind a tree… Alone…
Don’t trouble the trouble unless the trouble troubles you…if you trouble the trouble ..the trouble will double trouble you.
Was it a car or a cat I saw?
Read it backwards.
As long as the house is on fire, let us warm ourselves.
One thing wrong with common sense, it’s not very common anymore.
Save the planet. It’s the only one with cute boys.
My curiosity didn’t kill the cat but it surely scared the hell out of it.
Sometimes I play a game with my friends called “Staying Away”.
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said “Parking Fine”.
She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
– Groucho Marx
When in doubt make something up so you don’t look like a fool.
Vegetarian don’t kill the animals for eating; they eat the animals’ food.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
I’m not laughing because you’re my brother, I’m laughing because there’s nothing you can do about it.