Short Funny Quotes - Page 20

12

How do you eat a computer? One Byte at a time.
Just because you’re not paranoid does not mean the have stopped fallowing you.

Submitted by: Draphin
8

If only closed minds came with closed mouths.

Submitted by: Phil
22

I asked God for a bike but I know He doesn’t work that way… So I stole a bike then asked for forgiveness.

Submitted by: renee
19

Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.

Submitted by: Lindsey
29

Why is it called a walkie- talkie if a vacuum cleaner isn’t called a pushy- sucky?

Submitted by: Quintin
40

Cowboys ride horses.
Shouldn’t they be called horseboys???

Submitted by: manuela
13

Once I Realized That You Can Buy Trophies, I Became Good At Everything. (;

Submitted by: Lizzy
22

Pulling a door that clearly said “Push”.

Submitted by: Nikki
23

Me?? Stalk?? Nah.. I just observe.. At night… Behind a tree… Alone…

Submitted by: Sosthy
21

Don’t trouble the trouble unless the trouble troubles you…if you trouble the trouble ..the trouble will double trouble you.

Submitted by: aditya
100

Was it a car or a cat I saw?
Read it backwards.

Submitted by: Desirae
41

As long as the house is on fire, let us warm ourselves.

Submitted by: Kristy Sommars
7

One thing wrong with common sense, it’s not very common anymore.

Submitted by: Cofussion
17

Save the planet. It’s the only one with cute boys.

Submitted by: gg
10

My curiosity didn’t kill the cat but it surely scared the hell out of it.

Submitted by: neon
15

Sometimes I play a game with my friends called “Staying Away”.

Submitted by: onlykylsen3kings
8

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said “Parking Fine”.

Submitted by: Pseudonym
12

She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx

Submitted by: Cheynaa.
10

When in doubt make something up so you don’t look like a fool.

Submitted by: lele
27

Vegetarian don’t kill the animals for eating; they eat the animals’ food.

Submitted by: toba
13

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Submitted by: David lynch
13

I’m not laughing because you’re my brother, I’m laughing because there’s nothing you can do about it.

Submitted by: sam
25

Don’t give the man a fish ….you eat it.

Submitted by: sam
6

I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
Funny Quote: I forgive and forget, because I have...

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Submitted by: Kuzai
30

If someone says that you drawing looks ugly, say I didn’t mean to draw you.

Submitted by: Andeo

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