Short Funny Quotes - Page 20
Was it a car or a cat I saw?
Read it backwards.
As long as the house is on fire, let us warm ourselves.
One thing wrong with common sense, it’s not very common anymore.
Save the planet. It’s the only one with cute boys.
My curiosity didn’t kill the cat but it surely scared the hell out of it.
Sometimes I play a game with my friends called “Staying Away”.
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said “Parking Fine”.
She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
- Groucho Marx
When in doubt make something up so you don’t look like a fool.
Vegetarian don’t kill the animals for eating; they eat the animals’ food.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
I’m not laughing because you’re my brother, I’m laughing because there’s nothing you can do about it.
Don’t give the man a fish ….you eat it.
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
If someone says that you drawing looks ugly, say I didn’t mean to draw you.
Life is too short to remove the USB device safely.
I’m not crazy. Just imaginative.
Don’t try to make a pig sing, It only frustrates you and annoys the pig!
Boy: I like someone..
Boy: She looks just like you…
Girl: OMG! You like me? I like you too…
Boy: Oh no. I like your..sister
If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?
Whatever it is – I didn’t do it!
Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is.
If you don’t like my driving, get off the sidewalk.
The more I think, the more I get confused.
You say ear wax, I say melting brain.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark