Short Funny Quotes - Page 20
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If “poli” means many, and “tics” mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does “politics” mean?
Everybody’s has a boyfriend or a girlfriend and I’m just like “I love food”.
An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!”
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
– Leo J. Burke
Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.
My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
Omg I’ve just been drinking wet cement
and now I’m completely stoned
Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.
I am in shape…Round is a shape.
Nine out of ten people like chocolate,
the tenth person always lies hehehe