Short Funny Quotes - Page 20


Look, I’m no rocket surgeon.

Submitted by: Abbie

Does a collection of all collections includes itself?

Submitted by: WhyHi!

They say that 1 out of every 5 people in the United States is Chinese. There are 5 people in my family so 1 of them is Chinese. It’s either me (Ben), my mom (Amy), my dad (mark), my brother (Keith), or my adopted brother (Long Hai). I think it’s Keith.

Submitted by: Ben

It doesn’t matter if the glass is half full or half empty, all that matters is if you’re thirsty or not.

Submitted by: Logic

Thank God, I’m an atheist.

Submitted by: ArunKumar.R.K(AKRK)

It’s more fun when it’s illegal.

Submitted by: Brad

You call it stalking, I call it love.

Submitted by: Tracie

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Submitted by: mickey

14 Year Old: Santa isn’t real!
6 Year Old: Neither is Edward Cullen!
Guess who ran away crying.:p

Submitted by: TWILIGHT - Hearts

You’re with my ex? Here, you can have the remainder of my sandwich too.

Submitted by: Precious

If brain surgeons call what they do practice than what’s the real thing?

Submitted by: Melody

“Killer Attitude”
Teacher : why are you late?

Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P

Submitted by: Chirag goyal (chiggs)

Don’t you find it strange that doctors call what they do “practice”?

Submitted by: Ethan

People don’t grow up. They just learn how to act in public.

Submitted by: mooii

Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.

Funny Quote: Everybody wishes they could go to heaven...

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Submitted by: Wise man

Music is my drug, YouTube is my dealer.:)

Submitted by: Sarah O.

If the world really ends in 2012, I wasted my whole life in school.

Submitted by: Candygirl

To challenge us, you have to be good. To tie us, you have to be better. To beat us, you HAVE to be kidding!

Submitted by: Claire

When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.

Submitted by: @jokesdostietc

When life gives you lemons demand for lemonade.

Submitted by: Brady

When life gives you lemons, make orange juice then laugh at those who are confused.

Submitted by: 33Eclipse

Communism is like prohibition, it’s a good idea but it won’t work.

Submitted by: Phoenix

How do you eat a computer? One Byte at a time.
Just because you’re not paranoid does not mean the have stopped fallowing you.

Submitted by: Draphin

If only closed minds came with closed mouths.

Submitted by: Phil

I asked God for a bike but I know He doesn’t work that way… So I stole a bike then asked for forgiveness.

Submitted by: renee

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