Short Funny Quotes

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If “poli” means many, and “tics” mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does “politics” mean?

Submitted by: Laura

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
– Leo J. Burke

Funny Quote: People who say they sleep like a...

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Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.

Funny Quote: Laughter is the best medicine but if...

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An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!”

Submitted by: Rachael :)

My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.

Submitted by: dave title

Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.

Submitted by: Kassie

Omg I’ve just been drinking wet cement
and now I’m completely stoned

Submitted by: iby b

I am in shape…Round is a shape.

Submitted by: Kezzer

Nine out of ten people like chocolate,
the tenth person always lies hehehe

Submitted by: awatea

People always tell you to never say never so just say I cant.

Submitted by: Ne-Ne

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