Short Funny Quotes

If you want to look young and skinny stand next to a bunch of fat old people.

Submitted by: abby

What the heck does the “Z” in “LOLZ” mean…”Laugh Out Loud…Zebras?”

The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth, until you step in the exam hall.

If a robot does the robot is it still the robot or is it just dancing?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you… But it is still on my list :)

Submitted by: princess 98 ?

Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
Ambrose Bierce

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.
Rodney Dangerfield

For all people who make me laugh : Thank you.

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

The dumber you are, the smarter you think you are.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Rodney Dangerfield

Fact of life after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF!!!

Submitted by: nida

It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

My parents told me “You watch too much TV and should try reading more!” So I turned on the subtitles.

The first 40 years of your childhood are always the hardest.

I’ve lost many things… Of all those, my mind is at the bottom of my ‘to find’ list…
You should never care what others think, they don’t do it very often.

Submitted by: koolio

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