Short Funny Quotes - Page 20

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If “poli” means many, and “tics” mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does “politics” mean?

Submitted by: Laura

Everybody’s has a boyfriend or a girlfriend and I’m just like “I love food”.

Submitted by: Pritty

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!”

Submitted by: Rachael :)

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
– Leo J. Burke

Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.

Submitted by: Kassie

My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.

Submitted by: dave title

Omg I’ve just been drinking wet cement
and now I’m completely stoned

Submitted by: iby b

Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.

I am in shape…Round is a shape.

Submitted by: Kezzer

Nine out of ten people like chocolate,
the tenth person always lies hehehe

Submitted by: awatea
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