Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
Man is the only living being who cuts trees, makes paper, and writes “SAVE TREES” on it.
Whoever said that nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
There are three kinds of people in the world. People who make things happen. People who watch things happen and people who say “What happened?”.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely, the opportunist.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
I live in my own world but it’s okay. They know me there.
A lie will make it around the world before the truth has time to put on it’s shoes.
Whoever uses the phrase “Easy as taking candy from a baby,” has obviously never tried taking candy from a baby.
You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
– Albert Einstein
If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
“As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say…i just watch what they do.”
I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
129% of people exaggerate.