Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
If you have nothing to be grateful for, check your pulse.
My mom has the most awesome daughter in the world!
Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
– Winston Churchill
There are two rules in life.
1. Never give out all of the information.
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
– Benjamin Franklin
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
– Steven Wright
Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy everything else.
It is better to be rich & miserable than poor & miserable.
My ancestors didn’t fight their way to the top of the food chain so I could be a vegetarian.
The fridge is a perfect example of what’s inside is what matters.
If I’m driving you crazy just remember to put on your seat belt.
There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that weird guy over there.
If money doesn’t grow on trees why do bank have branches?
If at first you don’t succeed, see what the loser gets.
Come to think of it, when *isn’t* it a good idea to go limp and play dead???
If dreams really come true, what about nightmares.
Person 1: That lady looks really interesting.
Person 2: She looks like her daddy.
I’m sorry, did that hurt? I thought that there was a gnat on your cheek.
Understanding the single-line quote is like comprehending the bulky book with its title only and correctly.
– Anuj Somany
My kids seem to only listen to their music and not me; so I tried singing them their chores.
The squeaky wheel doesn’t always get the grease, sometimes it just gets replaced.
Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely, the opportunist.
That seems more of a your problem, than my problem!
Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.
Let’s agree that some days we are the pain and some days the a**!
I don’t judge God does. I’m the one who makes your appointment.