Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.

Submitted by: Anei on November 20, 2009

You: “Why are you here?”
Me: “Well… Heaven didn’t want me,
And hells afraid I’ll take over.”

Submitted by: Kikkaa on September 25, 2008

My friends are so much cooler than yours.
They’re invisible.

Submitted by: he on February 25, 2009

You sound better with your mouth closed.

Submitted by: Crissy on March 25, 2009

You: I’m going to be a comedian one day!
Me: *Bursts into fits of giggles*
You: Whats so funny?
Me: *gasps* oh! you were being serious, i’m sorry.

Submitted by: Dessy on January 31, 2009

I’m smiling…that alone should scare you.

Submitted by: NESSA on May 27, 2009

If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever

Submitted by: taylor on March 1, 2009

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Submitted by: Sir Custac Cant on February 23, 2013

I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.

Submitted by: Lalee on July 10, 2012

Look at you your in perfect shape……………for a circle

Submitted by: CF1 on February 18, 2009

If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

Submitted by: Idann on January 24, 2010

Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Submitted by: Christel on November 26, 2008

Expect nothing and you’ll never be dissapointed!

Submitted by: Amanda on August 1, 2009

You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.

Submitted by: qinyuan on October 2, 2009

Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone… I realized I can do so much without you.

Submitted by: kiran on August 18, 2009

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