Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.

Submitted by: Angel Geo on August 30, 2013

Sitting in the cinema
Person1: Oh My God! Did you just see that?
Person2: Nahh, I paid $12 just to stare at the freakin roof. “?”

Submitted by: Kurisutii on February 23, 2010

Here let me drop whats imprortant to me and pay attention to you and all of your needs.

Submitted by: lisa on July 15, 2009

A boy is hammering nails onto the table:
Mom: What are you doing?!
The boy: Is that a trick question?

Submitted by: Darryl Parryl on January 28, 2009

That’s a pretty dress…too bad you couldn’t find it in your size.

Submitted by: sslewis on March 10, 2009

You’re unique just like everyone else!

Submitted by: Raden on December 31, 2008

oh no … Keep talking … I always YAWN when I’m interested…:)

Submitted by: Hrishi on August 26, 2009

Find your patience before I lose mine.

Submitted by: OOPSI on March 11, 2010

Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?

Submitted by: magda on August 31, 2009

Person 1 : Watch my stuff.
Me : Why? Is it going to do a trick.

Submitted by: somma on October 10, 2009

*Me washing my car*
Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car?
Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.

Submitted by: FAX_and_MANG on June 12, 2012

Tell me how I have upset you, because I want to know how to do it again.

Submitted by: John Edwards on July 29, 2010

What did I do to give you the impression I actually care about what you think?

Submitted by: The Crackling appleorb on August 6, 2009

Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really…

Submitted by: maianaize on May 26, 2010

My loyalty cannot be bought, however, it can be rented.

Submitted by: Shalamar2k2 on October 6, 2008

You always do me a favor, when you shut up!

Submitted by: Nana on January 31, 2009

Mom: What did you learn in school today sweetheart?
Me: Obviously not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.

Submitted by: cheesefri on November 17, 2011

I’m definitely a morning person but often choose to sleep straight through it.

Submitted by: steve on October 27, 2009

Sarcasm (n.) – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it…!

Submitted by: vasso on December 9, 2010

You : My dad bought me a new mirror, the old one is broken.
Me : I can see why

Submitted by: SR on March 9, 2010

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest!

Submitted by: lisa on September 10, 2008

You: Do you think I am stupid.
Me: Its not your fault.

Submitted by: aniesha on August 11, 2009

3 A. M. Phone call
– Hey are you asleep?
– No, I was in coma thank you for rescuing me!

Submitted by: Jox_Touchdown on January 19, 2013

Person 1: Can I ask you a question?
Person 2: You just did!

Submitted by: Alisha on June 6, 2010

If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.

Submitted by: nicolw on July 6, 2010

“I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
“It’s in the phone book.”
“But I don’t know your name.”
“That’s in the phone book too.”
You’re so cool.
Any cooler and you would be me.

Submitted by: mandy on December 4, 2009

Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.

Submitted by: Sofia on December 4, 2012

Sales Clerk: Sir are you going to buy that?
Person: No, I’m just shop lifting it all the way to the cash register…

Submitted by: carlos on August 24, 2010


Submitted by: I LOVE BOONE on May 15, 2010

Me- “What time is it?”
You- “There’s a clock right there.”
Me- “Did I ask you where the clock was!?”

Submitted by: Jub Jub on August 14, 2010

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