Short Funny Quotes

My favorite text message “I will be there in 5 minutes, if not read again”.

Submitted by: Loshani Sigwadi

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion…it’s just that yours is stupid.

Submitted by: dan

When I was kidnapped, my parents leaped into action…they rented out my room.

Submitted by: Lynne

If silence is golden, then random screaming in public places is platinum! :D

Submitted by: Robert Gonzalez

I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.


It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son – and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
Helen Rowland

Your future depend on your what you dream, so go to sleep.

Submitted by: Ali Bakhsh Nasrat

My Reality Check bounced.

Submitted by: milly

When life gives you Justin Beiber, ASK FOR THE LEMONS BACK!!!

Submitted by: Kim

Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, and you’ll end up in the hospital.

Submitted by: JoJo

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.


It’s better to cheat, than to repeat…

Submitted by: mariedy

The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim.

Submitted by: Eeshan Usapkar

I haven’t lost it. I just misplaced it…somewhere on this planet.

Submitted by: Brandon

I recently stopped fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now.:)

Submitted by: Augusta :)

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