Short Funny Quotes

I don’t believe in superstition because it brings bad luck!

Submitted by: Some idiot on February 24, 2011

Once I Realized That You Can Buy Trophies, I Became Good At Everything. (;

Submitted by: Lizzy on November 26, 2011

Installing love. ……44%. Installation failed. Error 404: install money first.

Submitted by: Holorunranty on September 7, 2013

Insult: If beauty fades you have nothing to worry about.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson on July 14, 2013

She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx

Submitted by: Cheynaa. on November 15, 2011
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Good girls are bad girls who never get caught.

Submitted by: bootscooot on March 29, 2011

Get Well Soon!
Why Get Well Soon?
Why Not Get Well Now?
I Know Because You Want Me To Suffer!!!

Submitted by: Luke on July 28, 2010

I’m not dumb, I just think less to avoid all the headaches.

Submitted by: Shaneel Anand on July 19, 2014

Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

No matter how old or how bad a** you think you are, when a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!!

Submitted by: Bijoysarkarsam/fb.com on October 30, 2012

The quickest way to a man’s heart is through is chest…

Submitted by: AmberLee on June 1, 2009
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“The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Really? Can I stab you with a sword, you stab me with a pen and we’ll see who survives?

Submitted by: beyond lazy on July 15, 2011

I’m an outstanding student, teacher often asks me to stand out of the class.
Without ME its just Aweso

Submitted by: Vicky on January 13, 2010

How can the world end in 2012l when we have yogurt that expires in 2013?

Submitted by: Sydnee on January 23, 2012

Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Ambrose Bierce

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