Quotes by Mark Twain

21

The Bible has noble poetry in it… And some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.
– Mark Twain

7

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
– Mark Twain

12

It is easier to stay out than get out.
– Mark Twain

2

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
– Mark Twain

4

Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
– Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi

2

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
– Mark Twain

7

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
– Mark Twain

4

I have never let schooling interfere with my education.
– Mark Twain

2

When in doubt, tell the truth.
– Mark Twain

2

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
– Mark Twain

2

No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
– Mark Twain

3

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
– Mark Twain

3

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
– Mark Twain

13

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
– Mark Twain

9

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
– Mark Twain

1

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
– Mark Twain

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11

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.
– Mark Twain

0

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
– Mark Twain

2

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
– Mark Twain

3

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience : this is the ideal life.
– Mark Twain

1

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
– Mark Twain

1

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
– Mark Twain

4

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
– Mark Twain

13

To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times.
– Mark Twain

5

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
– Mark Twain

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