Quotes by Mark Twain
The Bible has noble poetry in it… And some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.
- Mark Twain
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
- Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
- Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
- Mark Twain
I have never let schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times.
- Mark Twain
No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
- Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
- Mark Twain
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.
- Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
- Mark Twain
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
- Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
- Mark Twain
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain