Short Funny Quotes
Dont face your problem if the problem is your FACE hehehe
I’m not evil, I’m god with a twist.
I didn’t hit you. I simply high- fived your face.
If the stuff that comes out of my mouth upsets you, just think of all the things I keep to myself.
An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!”
Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.
Omg I’ve just been drinking wet cement
and now I’m completely stoned
Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem.
I am in shape…Round is a shape.
Nine out of ten people like chocolate,
the tenth person always lies hehehe
The first sign of madness is talking to yourself, the second sign is replying.
People always tell you to never say never so just say I cant.
Dear life, when I asked if my day could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
I know the secret of life. But I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.
Did you know that 8 out of 3 people don’t get fractions.