Short Funny Quotes

The first 40 years of your childhood are always the hardest.

Losers are those who have fun winners are those who try hard

Submitted by: cassie

I had superpowers until my therapist took them away!

Submitted by: Beth

Some call it stalking I call it love.

Why do I end up liking the guy I can only think of.

I was uncool before being uncool was cool!

Get like you? naw Get like me.

I called your boyfriend g*y…and then he hit me with his purse.

When I said “I’d hit that” I meant with my car.

Go buy yourself a life on e- bay.

Few women admit their ages a few men act theirs.
\

Submitted by: Denisse

When Life Gives You Lemons… Throw Them Back And Demand Chocolate.
I Totally Just Made That Up 8 ]

Submitted by: Bridget

If money grew on trees, girls would date monkeys!!!

Submitted by: Joseph

You know how they say, “Don’t try this at home”?
I just go to my friend’s house and try it.

Submitted by: Ale Angel

Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
Bill Maher

Steal money from pessimists. They’ll never expect it back!

Submitted by: Sweet22

Relatives are like fires, the sooner they’re out, the better.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Submitted by: the person whom you know not of...
Advertisements

I talk to myself because I only talk to people of a higher class.

Submitted by: I

Diplomacy is telling someone to “Go to Hell” in such a way, that they look forward to taking the trip.

Submitted by: Karen

I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.

I hate People who are taking drugs,
Especially Police and Customs Officers

Submitted by: Pete

Why don’t you ever see Cupid with a girlfriend?

Submitted by: Toffayok

Be nice to nerds, because you may end up working for one!

Submitted by: beto

There’s no half- singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.

Submitted by: - Kaila

This is my life and I don’t let others ruin it !!… I wanna do it myself :D

Submitted by: saba haghiri

I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick!
Why is it that when something is delivered by truck, we call it a shipment, but when it’s delivered by ship we call it cargo?

Submitted by: sara

If my room is clean, it means that my internet is not working.

Copyright © 2006-2017 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote