Short Funny Quotes

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If “poli” means many, and “tics” mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does “politics” mean?

Submitted by: Laura

Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.

Submitted by: Lindsey

True skill comes without effort.

Submitted by: Longfellow

Dont face your problem if the problem is your FACE hehehe

Submitted by: Lyka

I’m not evil, I’m god with a twist.
I didn’t hit you. I simply high- fived your face.

Submitted by: Sara
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Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.

Submitted by: Kassie

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, “So far so good!”

Submitted by: Rachael :)

Dear life, when I asked if my day could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

The first sign of madness is talking to yourself, the second sign is replying.

Submitted by: Chocolate88

Omg I’ve just been drinking wet cement
and now I’m completely stoned

Submitted by: iby b

Nine out of ten people like chocolate,
the tenth person always lies hehehe

Submitted by: awatea
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I am in shape…Round is a shape.

Submitted by: Kezzer

When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but When I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.

I know the secret of life. But I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.

Submitted by: Andrew

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

Submitted by: Mahum

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