Short Funny Quotes - Page 14

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I will procrastinate later.

Submitted by: Chiz

No one is as ugly as their driving license/identity card picture, nor as good- looking as their Facebook profile pic..!:D;)

Submitted by: Suvidha

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said “Parking Fine”.

Submitted by: Pseudonym

When I was kidnapped, my parents leaped into action…they rented out my room.

Submitted by: Lynne

Your future depend on your what you dream, so go to sleep.

Submitted by: Ali Bakhsh Nasrat

Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.

Submitted by: Ujjwal

Me?? Stalk?? Nah.. I just observe.. At night… Behind a tree… Alone…

Submitted by: Sosthy

I’m still waiting for that day…

Funny Quote: I’m still waiting for that day…

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Math problems: Jane bought 72 sofas…WHO THE HELL WOULD BUY 72 SOFAS?!

I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.

Funny Quote: I hate when you offer someone a...

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It’s better to cheat, than to repeat…

Submitted by: mariedy

My Reality Check bounced.

Submitted by: milly

Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, and you’ll end up in the hospital.

Submitted by: JoJo

I haven’t lost it. I just misplaced it…somewhere on this planet.

Submitted by: Brandon

The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim.

Submitted by: Eeshan Usapkar

You: Go to hell.
Me: I go on vacations there.

Submitted by: Vuyie

I recently stopped fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now.:)

Submitted by: Augusta :)

When life gives you Justin Beiber, ASK FOR THE LEMONS BACK!!!

Submitted by: Kim

Once I Realized That You Can Buy Trophies, I Became Good At Everything. (;

Submitted by: Lizzy

Get Well Soon!
Why Get Well Soon?
Why Not Get Well Now?
I Know Because You Want Me To Suffer!!!

Submitted by: Luke

Monday again?
Seriously though, I cannot keep doing this every week!

Funny Quote: Monday again? Seriously though, I cannot keep...

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She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx

Submitted by: Cheynaa.

Installing love. ……44%. Installation failed. Error 404: install money first.

Submitted by: Holorunranty

I’m an outstanding student, teacher often asks me to stand out of the class.
Without ME its just Aweso

Submitted by: Vicky

Good girls are bad girls who never get caught.

Submitted by: bootscooot

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