Short Funny Quotes - Page 14
I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.
A tattoo is a permanent reminder of temporary insanity.
When life gives you a book…Hit life in the face and say “But I wanted lemons”.
I’m not fat your just too skinny.
80% of all people can’t do simple mathematics. Okay, but what about the 40% who can.
I’m not lazy… I’m just too good in energy conservation.
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think!
The only advantage of exercising is that you die healthy.
There’s only one thing common in all human beings:they’re all different!
Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.
A wise man once told me to always listen carefully because…um…I forgot.
Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.
If life gives you oranges… You must be doing something wrong.
To be honest…I’m a liar!:P
Some people tend to leave footsteps in your life, while I tend to put footsteps on their faces.:D
If you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you should probably water your lawn.
“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”
Cobra 1 asks cobra 2
Cobra 1 : Are we poisonous?
Cobra 2 : Why are you asking?
Cobra 1 : I think I just bit my lip.
I turned my phone onto “Airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst Transformer Ever.
I wasn’t sleeping I was just taking a good look at my eye- lids.
Behind Every Successful Person Lies A Pack Of Haters.
“The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Really? Can I stab you with a sword, you stab me with a pen and we’ll see who survives?
No one is as ugly as their driving license/identity card picture, nor as good- looking as their Facebook profile pic..!:D;)
A boomerang is just a Frisbee for people that don’t have any friends.
Never give loan to your friends, Otherwise you will lose both.
When I see someone that is beautiful, I stare for awhile, and when I get tired, I put down the mirror. 8)
If you think you are too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito.
I ain’t got no bad grammar.
My idea of multi- tasking is using a knife and fork at the same time.
When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
Daylight savings time is like cutting 24″ off the top of your blanket and sewing it to the bottom to keep your feet warm!
If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.
The party in hell, has been canceled due to the fire.
I live in my own world, but it’s cool, everyone knows me here!
To find out a girl’s fault, praise her to her girl friends.
People tell me to get a life, I say “HEY! I’m a gamer! I have tons of lives hahaha”.
There is only one machine in the casino that will give you money. ATM.
The first sign of madness is talking to yourself, the second sign is replying.
Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.
Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?
Behind every successful man is the absence of an annoying woman.
All of us would like to vote for the best president, unfortunately he is never a candidate.