Short Funny Quotes - Page 14
I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t wanna be there when it happens.
Even Barbie is not perfect.. I snapped off her leg.
Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)
When I was kidnapped, my parents leaped into action…they rented out my room.
Wifes are like dictionary…for one word it has many meanings…
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
So she smashed her rearview mirror,
cause from now on shes never looking back
Steal money from pessimists. They’ll never expect it back!
He: You know.. When you weren’t here, I cried a lot.
She: Awww! How sweet!
He: Yes but those were tears of happiness!
He: Do you know why only 10 percent of women goes to heaven?
She: Why?
He: Cause if they all went , it would be called hell!
He: Hi!
She: Hi.
He: Have I seen you somewhere?
She: Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
- Groucho Marx
“Killer Attitude”
Teacher : why are you late?
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Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. Of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war.
- Chris Rock
So many men and yet so few brains.
THINK its not illegal yet
I recently stopped fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now.:)
If others can do it…
..let them do it…
Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress to begin with.
Drive it like you stole it!!!!!!!!!!!!!