Short Funny Quotes - Page 14

4

Life is like a box of chocolates, doesn’t last as long for fat people.

Submitted by: Jeffrey
4

I know a thing or two about procrastination. You know what, how about I tell you later. :)

Submitted by: Fiifi
7

Robber1: Hey! Who are you. I came here first.
Robber2: What!! I’m calling the police.

Submitted by: Fiifi
11

I have a dig bick.
You that read wrong.
You read that wrong too.
And you read that last sentence twice to make sure we didn’t troll you yet again.

Submitted by: Serena
9

15 out of 10 people exaggerate.

Submitted by: Pip
2

Smile. It irritates those who wish to destroy you.
Immature is only a word boring people use to describe fun people.

Submitted by: ME
6

Guys- No shirt, no service
Girls- No shirt, no charge

Submitted by: jnl691
4

You’re just jealous cos the voices only talk to me.

Submitted by: JAMES BONG
10

When you feel sad. To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, “Damn I am really so cute” you will overcome your sadness. But don’t make this a habit. Cos liars go to hell !!!!

Submitted by: Sara
5

What wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood??? What do you mean if a woodchuck could chuck wood?! Are you telling me woodchucks can’t actually chuck wood?!?!!!?!?!
I didn’t forget. I just remembered too late. ;)
What’s the deal with lemons? Why can’t life give us chocolate? Or homework passes?

Submitted by: Kt
4

If school is so helpful, explain why summer break makes me happy.

Submitted by: Dovah
2

I still wonder why goods transported by a “Ship” are called “Cargo” and those by cars are called “Shipment”.

Submitted by: ƒLªwL³sŠ
4

Apple wanted to make a iPod for kids. Apparently the name “iTouch kids” didn’t sit very well.

Submitted by: Nafeesa
3

Duck tape is like the force. It has a dark side, a light side, and keeps the universe together.

Submitted by: Kyrianna
2

Where did you meet your wife? At the family reunion?

Submitted by: Alfred
3

If men are all the same why do girls choose their men.

Submitted by: caleb mwendwa
10

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from K. F. C. ! Xd.

Submitted by: Dvd
7

I’m not mean I’m just stating the facts.

Submitted by: katkat "^.^"
8

Toilet paper: highly useful, yet inappropriate as a gift.

Submitted by: raisthesungod
14

How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
You open the door, and put him in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
You open the door, take the elephant out, and put him in.
So a lion, the king of the jungle, is hosting a party for all the animals in the whole world, and when everyone gets there, they’re all having a great time, but, there is only one animal who is not there. Who is it?
The elephant you put in the fridge.
So, your on a hiking trip and you come to a river, full of crocodiles, and you have to get across, and there is no way around and no way over it. How do you get across?
You jump in and swim to the other side. (All the crocodiles are at the lion’s party.)

Submitted by: JAmes
6

Dear Yahoo,
You never hear anybody say “Lets Yahoo it”, just saying.
Sincerely,
Google.

Submitted by: Kyle
3

Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence.
– Max Amsterdam

Funny Quote: Business is the art of extracting money...

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3

When someone says “Can I ask you a question?” they didn’t really give you a choice.

Submitted by: ham
7

Cool story bro. Needs a dinosaur.

Submitted by: 5abunnylover
6

Today I sweated more than lady gaga would when she’s trying to make a gospel album.

Submitted by: Alexis

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