Short Funny Quotes
Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.
Omg I’ve just been drinking wet cement
and now I’m completely stoned
I am in shape…Round is a shape.
Nine out of ten people like chocolate,
the tenth person always lies hehehe
If the stuff that comes out of my mouth upsets you, just think of all the things I keep to myself.
People always tell you to never say never so just say I cant.
The first sign of madness is talking to yourself, the second sign is replying.
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.
I know the secret of life. But I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.
Did you know that 8 out of 3 people don’t get fractions.
Dear life, when I asked if my day could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
The voices in my head aren’t real…my dog told me so.
How to make an idiot wait????????? I will tell you later…..
Many people bring joy in my household, some by coming, others by going…
True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.