Short Funny Quotes - Page 14


Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it most…don’t use it.

Submitted by: Pat MA hiney

Have you ever noticed that studying is a combination of student and dying.

Submitted by: keerthi

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.

Funny Quote: An apple a day keeps the doctor...

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Submitted by: sammie

I’m no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.

Submitted by: Ibanez Temoni

Do unto other, before they do it to you.

Submitted by: Jeff Abrera

Some see the glass as half empty, others see it as half full, but I am just wondering who the hell is drinking my beer.

Submitted by: Lavee Dhama

When my boss said “You’ve been late for the 5th time!” I thought to myself, “Yay! It’s Friday!”

Submitted by: Peacfulimcute

Pshh. You call that a backflip? Here hold my beer.

Submitted by: The name's Uncle Ruckus... No relation

My brothers and sisters all hated me cos I was an only child.

Submitted by: Dom

Got back from grocery store. Reading the ingredients I noticed:
The lemonade was made with artificial flavoring.
But the dish soap was made with real lemons.

Submitted by: oicu812

I’m so cool, ice cubes get jealous.

Submitted by: Aly

If I melt dry ice and I swam in it, I wouldn’t get wet?

Submitted by: scott boii

If I’m doing God’s work, then what is God doing?

Submitted by: funny girl

It’s okay dude we can be loners together.
I just licked your face so now I own it.
Wigs are made of your hair that gets caught in the drain.
What language do deaf people think in?

Submitted by: Ciara

Do a fish ever gets thirsty?

Submitted by: parth

Welcome to the ool notice there’s no p in it lets keep it that way.

Submitted by: elisheva

It has reached a point in life that it’s an expense to just get out of bed in the morning and will cost you more if you stay there.

Submitted by: Ray Lewis

When life gives you lemons, trade them for chocolate. Chip cookies!

Submitted by: straydog

I do 5 sit- ups a day. It may seem like a small amount but there’s only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
I meed to stop saying, “How stupid can you be?” because people are starting to take it as a challenge!.

Submitted by: IRockLikeARockstar

Age and wisdom don’t necessarily go together… Some people just become stupid with more authority.

Submitted by: stephanie

If life gives you lemons. Open a lemon shop!

Submitted by: AlexRiley:D

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Submitted by: In case you didn't notice...

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Submitted by: Lexi

Every time I meet a nice girl she has a boyfriend. 3 of them.

Submitted by: amdalorn

Life is like a box of chocolates, doesn’t last as long for fat people.

Submitted by: Jeffrey

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