Yo mama so fat when she walks in front of the TV, I missed 7 episodes!
Yo mama so fat when she walked outside she sunk to the core of the earth.
Man 1: What are you lookin’ at?
Man 2: I dunno but it’s looking back at me.
I’d love to stay and chat, but you are a complete idiot.
He was a modest man, with much to be modest about.
A mirror would not be adorable when it’s reflecting you.
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: ‘Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.’
That depends, Sir,’ said Disraeli, ‘whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.’
– Benjamin Disraeli
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
– Groucho Marx
You are very much like an egg that cannot be a chicken anymore.
If brains were gas, you wouldn’t have enough to go around the inside of a cheerio.
You’re very pretty… Pretty ugly.
Person 1: Hey, I really liked the mask you wore at the Halloween party, really scary.
Person 2: Wait, what mask?
Person 1: Oh. Nothing.
Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
He’s not stupid; he’s possessed by a retarded ghost.
I’m sorry, you got a face that Photoshop can’t fix!
You’re the worst joke ever made.
I never thought I’d see someone uglier than you, that was until I met your mother. :D
There’s Photoshop, auto tune, & plastic surgery. Too bad there’s nothing for your ugly personality.
If stupidity was an illness you’d be dead by now.
Girl, you’re so fake, barbie wants you for Christmas.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with you, I’m just saying that I am more of a composed lady as compared to you.
You are so fat, people jog around you for exercise.
You: You’re so dumb your first words were duh.
Me: Have you been to the doctor lately?
You: Yeah
Me: So have they found your heart or brain or spine yet. Or did you ever have one?
You’re so fat you fell into the grand canyon and got stuck.
You so fat god can’t even lift your spirit to heaven.
You so ugly when you look at the mirror your reflection throws up.
I don’t want to be mean but you need Listerine, not a sip or a swallow but the whole damn bottle.:)!!
You say you’re old-school, I say you’re just plain old.
I can loose the weight… You’re stuck with the face.
When I want your opinion, I’ll beat it out of you.
If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
– Kurt Vonnegut
Halloween’s over you can take your mask off now.
Let’s play a game of Simon Says. I’m Simon. Simon says shut up before I call the zoo keeper to take you back.
I may be fat, but you are ugly…and I CAN lose weight!
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’m so hot,
What happened to you?
You are so fat that you become an unlucky day for the weighing machines!
Yuck! Didn’t you know your breath is the reason for Global Warming!
Dear so and so,
Remind me why we are friends again I don’t even like you.
I may look interested but I’m not.
Is that your face or is it Halloween today?
When I say I can’t, I clearly mean it. When I say I don’t it’s true so don’t keep repeating on your nonsense question.
Don’t flatter yourself I was looking at your friend.
Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?
I’d insult you right now… But I was raised NOT to make fun of the mentally challenged.
It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork.
Hair is normally made up of dead skin cells. Yours are comprised entirely of dead brain cells.
I’m sorry. Were you talking to me?
What’d you do to piss off the person with the ugly stick?
You can’t heal stupid.
You looked like something worth investing in, but so did Enron at the time.
You’re so fat, when you went swimming in the ocean China claimed you as an island.
You’re so fat, you chased a school bus yelling “come back with that twinky”.
You’re so fat when you weigh yourself it says to be continued.
You’re so ugly you don’t have to dress up on Halloween.
Boy: If there is a greater power, why is it he can’t get you a new sweater?
Girl: Because, he’s too busy looking for your brain.
Flirting isn’t cheating’s ugly cousin. You are.
I’m not shy I just don’t like you.:)
Yo momma is so thin that her wedding ring sizes two of her fingers.
You’re so ugly.. even listeners would get scared if you worked in a radio station.
I would rather jump off a plane than hear you say one more stupid thing.
When someone tells you something does it just go in one ear and out the other? That would explain all the “Huh?’s” I hear in class.
You look like your mom dropped you a lot when you were little… On your face.
Your house is so small, you had to eat a large pizza outside.
Your mom is so skinny she had to tie knots on both her legs to make knees.
You so skinny you could do push- ups under the door.
You’re so ugly that on Halloween you don’t even have to dress up.
You’re so beautiful and blooming today..Happy Halloween !
I would take a picture of you, but just focusing my lens on you made my camera break.
Fat girls like hashtags(#) because they look like waffles.
Nice cologne. Must you marinate in it?
Yo mama is so short you can see her feet on her driving license.
It’s not that I do like you I don’t! But that Halloween mask you wear is just gross! Oh wait!
Was someone attacked by the acne monster last night? X)
You’re so ugly that when you looked in the mirror your reflection screamed in fright.
Look at me, then look at you! now tell me honey….. Who is jealous of who?
No! of course you aren’t slow! you just aren’t fast
I’m sorry – excuse him he suffers from a severe case of stupidity.
What a shame…looks like the ugly fairy kissed you on both cheeks.
In state of a bag, I’ll be a Gucci bag and you’ll be an eye bag.
That’s fantastic, you’re so plastic.:)
Everyone deserves a happy ending, except you, I hate you.
That was so corny I could have ate it.
It’s cute how stupid you are.
I know how you feel. I just don’t care.
It worries me how dumb you are.
Your anger makes me happy.
“I hate you.”
“That’s good. Hate is a passionate emotion.”
“I’ll give you passionate,” I muttered under my breath. “Murder, the ultimate crime of passion.”
“Your mom dropped you a lot when you were a baby didn’t she,” I said. “On your head apparently.” I said under my breath.
It’s cute how you think I’m listening.
Person 1: You know what I like about you?
Person 2: No what?
Person 1: Oops never mind wrong person.
Is it just me, or do you have two faces?
You are so ugly.
Oh I am sorry I was trying so hard to look like you.:)
Until I saw you, I didn’t think it was possible to fall off the ugly tree twice!
I have a headache…and YES you caused it.
My office- mate has a bad breath…and I asked him…”What is the brand of the tooth paste you’re using?”
You’re so ugly you’d make a freight train take a dirt road!!!
You’re so cheesy, you make a fondue look bad!
When the cop stopped you and said roll down the window he thew a make- over ticket and said have a better looking day.
Your beautician should be having the toughest job in the world.
You’re so ugly, you’re the reason why waldo is hiding!
Your mama is so fat that when God said let there be light, he first has to shove her out of the way.
If beauty is only skin deep is there any chance you could turn yourself inside out.
You got a wound on your face…owh sorry it’s your nose.
Try not think of the brown paper bag over your head as a bad thing. . . It’s worse without it! Believe me! You’re actually helping others get through their day without seeing whats underneath it! Cheer up son. You’ve done us proud!:)
The whole day I was thinking of you (I was at the hospital for abnormal kids)!
You aren’t ugly… You just look better with a bag over your head.
Hey stop. The person who lend you his brain is worried. You know, worried that it might get damaged.
If you think you’re gorgeous, then Steve Martin is Kellan Lutz.
You are so stupid. One day I found you yelling in an envelope claiming that you are sending a voice mail!
You are so tall. You are a traffic officer for airplanes!
Seriously, if I was as ugly as you I’d cry too.
I dislike you with all my heart.
Person 1: Your license please.
Person 2: What for?
Person 1: Your face.
I have an attitude problem, to learn more call: 1-800- EAT DIRT
A Texan told me it took him three days to drive from one side of his ranch to the other…I told him I had a car like that once!
I am not an antisocial… I just hate you.
You’re so ugly that when you go to an amusement park every one runs away.
The only reason I’m not in to you is because I have some taste and you are not the spice I’m looking for in my kitchen.
You are so fat that you sit next to everybody in the cinema hall.
When you’re here people feel a lot more better about themselves.
Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.
Hey…
How’s that Hope, and Change thing working for you???
I knew I smelled onions…close your mouth!
Here suck on a lemon they’re not as bitter. :D
Move On. I only looked interested.
Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
– Fran Lebowitz
Your face looks like hell. Or Mexico I can’t tell.]
You wanna cookie? Well too bad, they don’t want you.
Kiss me.
– I’d rather strangle myself with my own underwear.
Think you’re cool? look at my cat!
I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.
There’s a door not 10 feet away. It is a fine invention, I suggest you use it.