Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
George Carlin

A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.

Submitted by: Ronak on June 25, 2013

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Submitted by: Nabil on November 4, 2009

Women: Scientifically proven to be right even when they’re wrong.

Submitted by: Spazz_princess15 on March 2, 2008

If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… Just couple of nations not talking with each other.

Submitted by: Melody on May 19, 2010

Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected :]

Submitted by: whats it to ya on October 19, 2008

You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..

Submitted by: ANON on July 19, 2013

God made Adam first because he didn’t want any advise from Eve how to make Adam.

Submitted by: Dupie on October 22, 2010

A woman has only 2 problems. 1. Nothing to wear. 2. No room for all the clothes.

Women sleep on the right side of the bed because even in their sleep they have to be right!

Submitted by: robin mukherjee on July 25, 2010

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Submitted by: wholio on March 7, 2008

Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Submitted by: zora on September 15, 2011

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin

One day, a long long time ago, there was a woman who didn’t complain, criticize, or nag…but like I said, it was a long long time ago and just for a day!

Submitted by: Dubbs on March 3, 2011

Women Are Like Hurricanes… When They Come, They’re Loud… When They’re Gone, So Is The House, The Dog And The Car.

Submitted by: Unknown on May 19, 2011

Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!

Submitted by: ben on July 1, 2013

When a women says “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

Because I’m a guy, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Submitted by: blonco on June 2, 2010

Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.

I am the boss in this house my wife told me so.

Submitted by: Simon on April 11, 2010

Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!

Submitted by: kimberly on September 5, 2013

There are two ways to rule a women and no body knows them..

Submitted by: littlesecret on May 12, 2010

Fake hair, fake nails, fake eye lash, artificial face and sometimes fake behavior, yet a woman will say she needs a real man.

Submitted by: idi on March 16, 2012

Men will spend 2 dollars on a 1 dollar item that they desperately need. Women will spend 1 dollar on a 2 dollar item that they don’t need at all.

Submitted by: Jacob on December 1, 2010

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman


Women are like banks, they take every cent you got and give you very little Interest..

Submitted by: Turnip on June 3, 2010

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

A women may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid..but she is never ever wrong.

Submitted by: mysteeq-t on December 6, 2010

When a woman says “do whatever you want” do NOT do whatever you want.

What would be men without women?

Submitted by: Prateek on November 9, 2011

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