Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

22

Women are like volcanoes. Both stay calm for extended periods of time before exploding and killing everything. Then, there’s calm again.

28

I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: I’ll never understand why once a month,...

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19

You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: You can tell a lot about a...

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15

When a woman says “do whatever you want” do NOT do whatever you want.

23

I desperately want to go camping this summer. Preferably in a hotel. With a pool and a SPA.
– Some Woman

50

A woman has only 2 problems. 1. Nothing to wear. 2. No room for all the clothes.

22

Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!

Submitted by: kimberly
11

When a women says “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: When a women says “What?”, it’s not...

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15

You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..

Submitted by: ANON
11

A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. :)

25

Why are girls?

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Why are girls?

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27

Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!

Submitted by: ben
35

A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.

Submitted by: Ronak
29

There is no doubt that all women are crazy. It’s just a matter of degree.

Submitted by: Kris
20

Only two things can change a woman’s mind:

1. I love you.
2. 50 percent discount.

Submitted by: simplaz
35

A man is always ready to go, it’s a women that says whether yes or no!

Submitted by: Peter
15

Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.

28

Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.

Submitted by: sandra blackburn
17

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman

21

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.

Submitted by: Doug Dunn
19

If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
– Robin Williams

13

Women are suitable to be journalists, they never spend a minute quiet.

Submitted by: Norman
16

Halloween is for dressing as something you’re not. That’s why most girls go as sexy.

23

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
George Carlin

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Here’s all you have to know about...

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19

When a woman has nothing left to argue, she will either ignore you, cry or remember that thing until she takes revenge on that.

Submitted by: Arman

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