Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

4

Women are like volcanoes. Both stay calm for extended periods of time before exploding and killing everything. Then, there’s calm again.

8

I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: I’ll never understand why once a month,...

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2

You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: You can tell a lot about a...

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1

When a woman says “do whatever you want” do NOT do whatever you want.

4

I desperately want to go camping this summer. Preferably in a hotel. With a pool and a SPA.
– Some Woman

31

A woman has only 2 problems. 1. Nothing to wear. 2. No room for all the clothes.

17

Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!

Submitted by: kimberly
11

When a women says “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: When a women says “What?”, it’s not...

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9

You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..

Submitted by: ANON
8

A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. :)

21

Why are girls?

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Why are girls?

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19

Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!

Submitted by: ben
24

A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.

Submitted by: Ronak
28

There is no doubt that all women are crazy. It’s just a matter of degree.

Submitted by: Kris
19

Only two things can change a woman’s mind:

1. I love you.
2. 50 percent discount.

Submitted by: simplaz
32

A man is always ready to go, it’s a women that says whether yes or no!

Submitted by: Peter
14

Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.

24

Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.

Submitted by: sandra blackburn
15

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman

18

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.

Submitted by: Doug Dunn
15

If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
– Robin Williams

11

Women are suitable to be journalists, they never spend a minute quiet.

Submitted by: Norman
15

Halloween is for dressing as something you’re not. That’s why most girls go as sexy.

17

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
George Carlin

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Here’s all you have to know about...

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18

When a woman has nothing left to argue, she will either ignore you, cry or remember that thing until she takes revenge on that.

Submitted by: Arman

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