Short Funny Quotes - Page 3


To learn you must make mistakes; when you make a mistake you often will get in trouble. So then why do teachers punish you when you get into trouble if you are only learning, which is exactly what they want you to do?

Submitted by: J-Dog

I want to kill the hottest person alive… But suicide is a crime!

Submitted by: cassie

Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

Sincerely, the opportunist.

Submitted by: Mark Cromo

Dear maths…!! Please grow up and solve your problems yourself!!!

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Submitted by: dear maths!!!

If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.

Submitted by: Jilll

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Submitted by: ~Joy96~

The hardest part about business is minding your own.

Submitted by: jay

Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.

Submitted by: Lindsey

Why is the slowest traffic of the day called “rush hour”?

Submitted by: Kim

Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.

Submitted by: Julio

I’m an excellent housekeeper..Every time I get divorce I keep the house ;- )

Submitted by: ArmenianGrl

If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot!

Submitted by: Saadi

Would a fly without wings be called a walk.

Submitted by: blazinherb420

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin


Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?

Submitted by: tara:littlestar

Everyone has the right to their own opinion… Yours is just wrong.

Submitted by: Beth

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W.C. Fields

Submitted by: mina

A picture is worth a thousand words, but only if you know that many.

Submitted by: katie

My mind is like lighting, one brilliant flash, then its gone…:(

Submitted by: Carnivorus Sheep

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

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Submitted by: Adrian

L.O.L has gone from meaning laugh out loud to I have nothing else to say.
Pandas are the least racist..they’re black, white, and Asian
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver, blue, purple, orange and all those other colors now.
I’m afraid of my mailman……..he knows where I live!!

Submitted by: SUmmy

I hate how after an argument I think of more clever things I should have said.

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If you must lie, be brief.

Submitted by: Darby Gloria

Don’t follow my footsteps I run into walls!

Submitted by: Laura

Never apologize for saying what you feel cos its apologizing for being real.

Submitted by: bonche

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