Short Funny Quotes - Page 3

30

People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish .

Submitted by: ky
49

The hardest part about business is minding your own.

Submitted by: jay
57

Dear maths…!! Please grow up and solve your problems yourself!!!

Funny Quote: Dear maths…!! Please grow up and solve...

Embed Code
Submitted by: dear maths!!!
32

If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.

Submitted by: Jilll
56

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Submitted by: ~Joy96~
77

Why is the slowest traffic of the day called “rush hour”?

Submitted by: Kim
10

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin

287

Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.

Submitted by: Julio
38

If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot!

Submitted by: Saadi
243

I’m an excellent housekeeper..Every time I get divorce I keep the house ;- )

Submitted by: ArmenianGrl
409

Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?

Submitted by: tara:littlestar
95

Everyone has the right to their own opinion… Yours is just wrong.

Submitted by: Beth
67

A picture is worth a thousand words, but only if you know that many.

Submitted by: katie
43

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

Funny Quote: If at first you don’t succeed, then...

Embed Code
Submitted by: Adrian
116

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W.C. Fields

Submitted by: mina
39

Would a fly without wings be called a walk.

Submitted by: blazinherb420
13

If you must lie, be brief.

Submitted by: Darby Gloria
219

My mind is like lighting, one brilliant flash, then its gone…:(

Submitted by: Carnivorus Sheep
76

Don’t follow my footsteps I run into walls!

Submitted by: Laura
23

Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.

Submitted by: Lindsey
76

Never apologize for saying what you feel cos its apologizing for being real.

Submitted by: bonche
49

L.O.L has gone from meaning laugh out loud to I have nothing else to say.
Pandas are the least racist..they’re black, white, and Asian
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver, blue, purple, orange and all those other colors now.
I’m afraid of my mailman……..he knows where I live!!

Submitted by: SUmmy
379

If you can’t get someone out of your head,
.. Then maybe they are supposed to be there. <3

Submitted by: daprincessishere
67

Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.

Submitted by: Klang
29

I know I’m in my own little world..but it’s ok..they know me here!

Submitted by: melissa

Copyright © 2006-2015 Coolnsmart.com - All rights reserved.

Like us!