Short Funny Quotes - Page 3
I ran into my ex today…put it in reverse and did it again!!!
To learn you must make mistakes; when you make a mistake you often will get in trouble. So then why do teachers punish you when you get into trouble if you are only learning, which is exactly what they want you to do?
I want to kill the hottest person alive… But suicide is a crime!
If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.
Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
- Steven Wright
Dear maths…!! Please grow up and solve your problems yourself!!!
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
The hardest part about business is minding your own.
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot!
If you must lie, be brief.
Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
- W.C. Fields
Why is the slowest traffic of the day called “rush hour”?
I’m an excellent housekeeper..Every time I get divorce I keep the house ;- )
Everyone has the right to their own opinion… Yours is just wrong.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?
A picture is worth a thousand words, but only if you know that many.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
- George Carlin
Would a fly without wings be called a walk.
My mind is like lighting, one brilliant flash, then its gone…:(
L.O.L has gone from meaning laugh out loud to I have nothing else to say.
Pandas are the least racist..they’re black, white, and Asian
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver, blue, purple, orange and all those other colors now.
I’m afraid of my mailman……..he knows where I live!!
Don’t follow my footsteps I run into walls!
I know I’m in my own little world..but it’s ok..they know me here!