Short Funny Quotes - Page 3
To learn you must make mistakes; when you make a mistake you often will get in trouble. So then why do teachers punish you when you get into trouble if you are only learning, which is exactly what they want you to do?
I want to kill the hottest person alive… But suicide is a crime!
Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely, the opportunist.
Dear maths…!! Please grow up and solve your problems yourself!!!
If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
The hardest part about business is minding your own.
Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.
Why is the slowest traffic of the day called “rush hour”?
Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.
I’m an excellent housekeeper..Every time I get divorce I keep the house ;- )
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot!
Would a fly without wings be called a walk.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
– George Carlin
Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?
Everyone has the right to their own opinion… Yours is just wrong.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
– W.C. Fields
A picture is worth a thousand words, but only if you know that many.
My mind is like lighting, one brilliant flash, then its gone…:(
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
L.O.L has gone from meaning laugh out loud to I have nothing else to say.
Pandas are the least racist..they’re black, white, and Asian
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver, blue, purple, orange and all those other colors now.
I’m afraid of my mailman……..he knows where I live!!
I hate how after an argument I think of more clever things I should have said.
If you must lie, be brief.
Don’t follow my footsteps I run into walls!
Never apologize for saying what you feel cos its apologizing for being real.