Saying that you are moral because you believe in a God is like saying you are an economist because you play monopoly.
– Robert W. Cox.
Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.
– George Carlin
It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.
– Walt Disney
You have to be odd to be number one.
Every love story is beautiful but ours is my favorite.
I have found the one whom my soul loves.
If I had my life do over I would find you sooner so I could love you longer.
After all this time you are still amazing to me. Happy Anniversary.
America hasn’t seen lazy yet, wait until McDonalds start delivering.
I wonder if Chinese tourists get upset when they buy a souvenir from America and find out it was made in China.
I’ll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.
When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but When I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.
Listen, I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk, we go to parties.
I don’t need drugs or alcohol. Music is my addiction.
Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer… I saw the video… we need to talk.
They say so many people die because of alcohol. Perhaps they never realized how many of them are born because of it.
Anger is our natural defense against pain. So when I say I hate you, it really means “You hurt me”.
When you’re angry, your text speed increases by a ridiculous amount.
Never do anything you are ashamed of and you’ll never have to lie.
The worse thing you can ever do to yourself is to be ashamed of being you just because of what other people will think…that’s a suicide to your existence.
Some people are old at 18, and some are young at 90. Time is a concept that humans created.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m counting the days until I can finally see you.
Be the kind of man you’d like your son to become, the kind of man you would love your daughter to marry for life.
Be the kind of woman you would like your daughter to be, the kind of women you’d love your son to choose for a wife.
If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?
The hardest thing that I’ve ever had to hear was that my child died. The hardest thing that I’ve ever done is to love live everyday since that moment.