Funny Poems

April First

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I wondered happy as a clown.
Walking with a smile not a frown.
I passed a man he was on the street.
He asked for something good to eat.
I had food so I couldn’t tell him no.
I just didn’t mention it was from a week ago.

In the park where children play.
I thought I might head that way.
Found a tree with just my luck.
Went behind it and peed in a cup.
Saw a kid looking hot in the shade.
Said here kid try some lemonade.

It was hot so something to drink would be nice.
So I headed out to get a water ice.
The line was huge from China you could see.
So I said step aside everything is on me.
I got rainbow flavor and said by to Will.
And on the counter I left monopoly bills.

I went back home and kicked off my shoes.
I turned on the TV and I was on the news.
The man on the street said I was totally out of order.
The kid from the park said I need to drink water.
The man who sold water ice said I was the worst.
I just said don’t these guys know it’s April First.

The Coffee Shop

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I was sitting in a coffee shop
Just thinking about life
When along came a woman
I wish were my wife

She was tall blonde and beautiful
The likes I’ve never seen
And I noticed right away
Her eyes were glowing green

Her breast’s were protruding
So large, but yet so firm
I was trying to stay in control
But I was squirming like a worm

When she came and sat beside me
I didn’t know what to say
So I said in an instant
Can we do it my way

She smiled ever so brightly
Then turned to me and said
I wouldn’t be with you
If every man on earth were dead.

EXAMINATION FEVER

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“EXAMINATION FEVER”

LOTS OF QUESTION TO BE SOLVED
BUT NO ANSWERS IN MY MIND

LOTS OF THOUGHTS ARE GATHERING INSIDE
BUT DON’T KNOW WHAT AND HOW TO WRITE

I HAVE TO DO IT ANY HOW
BUT ANSWERS ARE NOT READY NOW

I HAVE TO FINISH ALL WITHIN THE TIME
WANT TO CHEAT BUT KNOW ITS A CRIME

OUT OF FIFTY I KNOW ONLY TEN
MY INK IS RUNNING OUT OF MY PEN

HOW TO PASS THIS ONE HOUR
FORCE TO STAY HERE PLEASE GIVE ME POWER

I KNOW I WILL PASS MY EXAM NEVER
THIS IS BECAUSE I AM SUFFERING FROM EXAMINATION FEVER.

Oh Mosquito

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Oh mosquito come have your delight,
Take away the peace of this silent night,
For in this silence with his memories I reunite,
A union that shall never again see daylight.

Come fill my ears with your loud buzz,
So I may forget his musical voice,
And expunge those unfulfilled promises,
Forever from my conscious.

Tire me out completely,
Till my eyelids close effortlessly,
So much that I sleep without a dream,
And wake up without any knowledge of him.

Reflection

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I’ve just looked at myself in the mirror,
My God! what a terrible sight,
Eyes are all bleary and bloodshot
As if I’ve been boozing all night.

My nose is too large and it’s ugly,
It’s oozing all over my face,
And the place that I think that my mouth is
Is nowt but a blooming great space.

My five o’clock shadow looks dirty,
My forehead is wizened and lined.
People with faces like mine is
Ought to be heavily fined.

The effect that it must have on children
Is shattering, and on the old.
I should have been exterminated
At birth, or so I’ve been told.

My hair is all wild and unruly,
There are bags hanging under my eyes,
My cheeks are all hollow and sunken,
For my looks they don’t give a prize.

Still, I’ve got quite a wonderful nature,
I’m generous, good-hearted, and kind,
Perhaps I’ll get lucky and marry
A good looking girl who is blind.

Ghost

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I saw a ghost
A gorgeous ghost
Whose smile I cant forget
Whose face I long to touch.
And whose voice I love to hear

The only ghost
I wont afraid to see
The only ghost I wish will hunt me.

How Should I Know?

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The clock is not ticking it stopped hours ago.
The batteries flat? How should I know?
It worked in the sunshine, but not in the shower.
How should I know what it uses for power?

My pen is not working it’s run out of ink.
How should I know the color was pink?
It worked in the sunshine but not in the rain.
How should I know it ran down the drain?

My brain is not working it stopped years ago.
How did it happen? How should I know?

Poem

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I’m sitting in English with nothing on my mind,
writing a poem that has no rhyme.
It is not very brilliant but so far it’s good,
for it’s journal time in my neck of the woods.
If it was my choice, i would not write but,
I try with all my might.
So my poem is now done, I have work to do.
And now I’m saying goodbye to you.

During a Lecture…

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During d morning, attending a lecture,
Sitting on a bench, I look around,
I can see through d window pane d beautiful nature,
& in d class all types of various activities I found 😀

Some f d students r constantly gossiping,
While some r deeply involved in drawing a picture.
Some others r busy in chatting & texting,
Some r thinking of bunking d next lecture 😛

Some r reading interesting novels, -_-
While some r creating unique fashion designs..;)
Other r fantasizing about the world’s marvels,
Or practicing different types f signs.

Then there are some who are sincere but r very few,
Who r continuously taking notes n paying attention.
D class is full of students old and new,
While d teacher is writing on d board n giving some explanation :V

There r also those who r least interested,
Of whats going in d class or whose taking d lecture,
Sitting on d last benches, they r irritated,
Still some r sleeping peacefully ignoring d teacher 😀

Several r having fun singing n laughing,
By playing pranks n throwing paper-balls at each other 😉
While few r singing songs in class n r disturbing,
Others r lost deep in thoughts f sum1 or d other 😛

All of a sudden d bell rings,
& i soon realize d class has cum 2 an end,
maybe due to student’s wish and god’s blessings
& I wish like this all lectures we could spend 😀

Cheese, Cheese, Cheese

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Oh, cheese, cheese, cheese
sitting up in the fridge
when can i eat you
for you I’ll fall from a bridge

Your not a fattening food
your not a too cheesie food
you just put me in the best mood

It’s not morning yet
it’s not breakfast yet
all i want is my cheesie pet

It is now morning
oh, how i am happy
oh, i just love the smell of you
my wings are coming out flappy

I must fly away with my cheese
i’m not gonna get into a fight
there is an eagle
i must take my flight

I dropped my cheese
oh, there it goes
it is now night again
my cheese is going home with a bunch of hoes

Brainy Got Mad

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By Writing,by reading
by studying,by keeping
Books in his hand
Brainy Got Mad

No sleeping,No Eating
Only Studying
Brainy Got Mad
Mother Always Told Him
“Be Careful Of What You Do
And Don’t Do Too Much Study
After All,It’ll Cause You Harm”
But He Pledged,
That He’ll Not Leave A Edge
As He Thought Books Are His Life
He Kept Reading Day & Night
After Some Time His Books Become The Enemies In His Life
His Brain Got Unstable,
Seems Like Their Was A Fatal In The Mind
Suffering From Stress Now Every time
Their Is No Word To Make A Rhyme
As The Brainy Person Has Become A Mad
Their’s No Need To Study
A Thought Arose In His Mind
But What To Do Now?
There’s Not A Choice
Keep Hold On Your Voice
Because The Brainy is now a mad..!!

Funny Poem

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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be in the zoo
Don’t worry you’ll find me there too
Not in the cage but laughing at you.

Completely Over

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Internals are near
Exams are not far
Marks are so peculiar
That eligibility is too far

So I’ll be sitting in the corner
Waiting for the examiner
To turnover
Now please help me dear
Tell me the answer
So I won’t reappear
And study one-more year
Again the same fucking chapter

But I don’t know why my friends do fear
From the fucking examiner
So I’ll be playing with the calculator
Till the internals are over
But still I manage to write the answer
Written in small piece of paper
Watching through a magnifier

My friends are so betrayer
That they disappear
In middle of writing the answer

Hey you sucker
Stay out of my border
Hereafter
I won’t depend on you forever

So it would be better
That I study on my own forever
And write my own answer

This situation is so familiar
But still I have no fear
And its completely clear
That I’ll be raising in the upcoming semester

That’s True

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BEFORE WEDDING:
HE:i waiter so long for this
SHE:do u want me to leave.
HE:no.never!
SHE:do u love me..
HE:yes.i did …i am doing …..i will do………..
SHE:did u ever cheat me..
HE:i would rather die than do it..
SHE:will u kiss me….
HE:sure..thet’s my pleature..
SHE:will u hurt me……
HE:NO …way..i am not such aperson..
SHE:can i trust u….
HE:s
SHE: oh darling….

AFTER WEDDING………………
(READ FROM BOTTOM TO TOP……………….)

CAT WITH ATTITUDE

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Long curly whiskers
Beady eyes button nose
A cheeky look and a mischief’s grin
In addition, little white patches and long fluffy fur
Jumping here jumping there
All over the place without a care
Going through dustbins cupboards and all
Settle down here is a ball
Tiny little muddy paws
All over my clean floors
Meowing and purring all the time
Is there no rest?
A little, kitten with attitude you maybe
However, you are my little kitten here with me.

Daddy Fell Into The Pond!!

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The poem Daddy Fell into the Pond by Alfred Noyes

Everyone grumbled. The sky was grey.
We had nothing to do and nothing to say.
We were nearing the end of a dismal day,
And then there seemed to be nothing beyond,
Then Daddy fell into the pond!

And everyone’s face grew merry and bright,
And Timothy danced for sheer delight.
“Give me the camera, quick, oh quick!
He’s crawling out of the duckweed!” Click!

Then the gardener suddenly slapped his knee,
And doubled up, shaking silently,
And the ducks all quacked as if they were daft,
And it sounded as if the old drake laughed.
Oh, there wasn’t a thing that didn’t respond
When
Daddy Fell into the pond!

Together Forever

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i love you so much
so if you cry i cry
if you sneeze i sneeze
you laugh i laugh
you cough i cough
you wear pink shoes i wear pink shoes
you jump of a cliff im going to miss your emails

How The Rubies Got Red

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I’ll tell you a story on the rubies shine red.
There’s nothing more that you’d ever dread…
A man who loved his jewels was too crazy enough
To create a new one, even though he bluffed.
His house caught on fire, squashed flat like a tire,
His rubies caught on fire as well.
They soaked up that heat, yes, it was very neat,
And that’s how the rubies got red.

The Sad Ghost

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I once met a ghost,
He was scary at most!
But not by the feelings he had.
He wanted some candy,
For his sister named Sandy,
Her costume must have cost much!
But I didn’t have the candy,
“Sob, sob!” went Sandy,
And I started crying as well!

Zoo For You

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Roses are red
violets are blue
monkeys like you should be in the zoo
don’t worry you’ll find me there too
not in a cage but laughing at you.

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